Where is the good news?

I thought the bad stuff was going to end at the strike of midnight on 31 December 2009? We had all agreed that although 2009 had some good parts, it was a shite year and we were moving on to bigger and better things in 2010.

Well, I did my part and adjusted my attitude and was ready to face some serious good news.

...
...

Dude, where's my good news? One very close friend lost her father very suddenly to cancer this week (he was just about to start chemo). Another has been in and out of the hospital with complications for Cystic Fibrosis and will likely need a double lung transplant this year. It seems like all the stories I hear lately are about looming operations, cheating husbands, unemployment, diabetes, cancer, gallbladder problems, ulcers.... it goes on.

Maybe we're following the wrong calender? When is Chinese New Year? Will the year of the Tiger show us more love? PLEASE?

Isn't this what the global warming debate is actually all about?

The cartoon is by Joel Pett and appeared in USA today. Source: http://www.cartoons.nytimages.com/portal/wieck_preview_page_208831

Flying home

At airport on the way back to Canada for Christmas. The people beside me have never flown before and were shocked to find out it is a 7 hr flight and to learn about the time change. I guess I take for granted I know about those things and how they work. But still, I was a bit shocked.

Tried to get upgraded but no luck. Had the most amazing luck being upgraded with Tim on our flight to Osaka in October for our friends wedding. Business class! Massage chairs! Champagne! Tons of leg room and they served us ice cream at midnight! I was so happy. Now I ask every time.

Excited to go home but also know it will be a trip of mixed emotions. Great to see friends but will also be attending a memorial service for a friend who I'm used to spending a lot of time with over the holidays. And i'm going to miss Tim who will be in Liverpool for Christmas. But overall I'm very happy and excited to see everyone. Especially since last year I wasn't able to go home.

Now comes the flight. On the exciting side: MOVIES!!! In the not so exciting side: being stuck in a small space with lots of grumpy people. Here's hoping for a smooth flight.
- Posted from my iPhone

Phone call Saturday afternoon

I was in the queue at Argos with Tim when I got a call from a friend at home informing me that my dear friend Brent has passed away. I spoke to him on the phone and asked him all the right questions but wasn't sad or upset. My head was just spinning. When I was off the phone and Tim came up to me to ask me what was wrong after he paid for the item I burst into tears and told him. Then we walked home.

I'm very sad. For Brent, for his family and friends, for me, for everything.

It was complications from H1N1. He was 30 and the loveliest friend. Really. I'm so thankful that I'll be home for one of the memorials.

Loneliness of a Short Distance Runner

No desire to run. Shivering inside the house, why would I want to go outside in my running gear and freeze even more? But I want to want to run. And I know how good it feels after. Once I'm inside again, warm, feeling like I've accomplished something, feeling less guilty about a bit of sugary snack after lunch. Feeling like I've earned the right to get out of the house and just wander around, get a coffee, read a book. I'm not sure if it's good or bad that I've turned running into a daily (mon-fri) mandatory punishment. I have no desire to run but the sooner I go, the sooner I can have lunch. Now there's motivation.

...

Am back. Today was one of those running-through-water runs. But feeling better now. For a while I was doing 5 runs a week (anywhere from 15 - 45 minute per run) but am now down to 4 a week and trying to go slightly longer - 25 - 45 minutes per run. Doesn't seem like that much of a difference but in the past towards the end of the week I would lose my motivation and only run for 15 minutes. If I up my minimum by 10 minutes then I get an extra mile or two in and up my endurance. Well, hopefully.

Fun application on my iPhone has made the runs a lot more tolerable. It's called iMapMyRun and by turning on the phone's GPS it tracks where you run, tells you how far and how fast you are going. Very cool. My one complaint is that the voice feedback feature which was included on the free download initially is now only available in the paid version. I should never have downloaded the upgrade on the free version!! Oh well, the paid application is much better than the free one. And good on them for sorting out a way to monetise the application even more. I'm sure more iPhone applications will be doing the same soon.

Right, now where's my lunch!?

Early resolutions

- start blogging again
- re-join Flickr and start uploading my photos again
- get back in touch with lost friends
- get back into yoga
- take more photos

It has been a long, dark 2009. Most of it was spent unemployed, underemployed, nearly broke, broke, applying for endless jobs with a seemingly endless amount of rejections, being far away from family and friends. But it was also a great year. Living in an amazing flat in London. Having a great boyfriend to live there with. Attending my graduation from Cambridge in May. Going to Portugal, Spain, Ireland, Japan and to Canada for 3 visits. Cooking a lot of great food. Hosting a lot of fun parties. Running my first 10km race. Slowly building some new friendships.

To be honest, the past year I've been avoiding writing because things have been so grim and I hated to face it. But I think it's time to start writing again if not for anything other than just to get writing again. Let's see.

Twit...

It's been ages....

I have been trying to communicate via Twitter updates as I have found it easier to do a two-line update rather than face the blog.

What is new with me?
Not much. I think I was waiting until I got a job to write a post. Writing posts when looking for jobs is a bit depressing. My days go a lot like this.... "search for jobs online. apply for jobs. wait for calls. repeat." Not terribly exciting.
I still am looking. No jobs just yet. I picked an unfavourable time to graduate from business school. Such is life.
Spending the holidays in Britain this year. Going up to Liverpool to spend the holidays with some friends and Tim and his family. Sad not to go home, but it is not economically feasible right now. I'll head home for a couple weeks in January I think.
Living in London. Lovely city. Gorgeous. Fun. Exciting. Huge. The weather in London is rainier than Cambridge. But I might just notice it more because I'm at home rather than stuck in class all day. But I've been really liking it. Have some good friends here too, so that makes it much easier.

Lots of ups and downs but it's been more good than bad for sure! I'm trying to do something "fun" every day in December and will try to twitter about it, such that you all can know a little more about what i'm up to!

Life is good! Things are good! Happy December!

Respect

I am having a tough time writing my final research paper. It takes so much concentration and discipline to just sit and read and write without the motivational power of a teacher or a group or a upcoming deadline. I mean, my deadline is coming up at the end of August, but that seems so far away. Problem is that I have to write and research a pretty big paper, and put together a presentation for the organization I'm doing the paper for, and time is ticking. Anyway, I've learned that I'm not very good at keeping myself on track for these types of things. But I am still plugging away and getting progress made. And I'm sure it will get done and it will be fairly good. But I just wish I was one of those people in my class who were able to pump out their first draft in like 4 weeks and are now sitting pretty able to relax the rest of the summer. I have a lot of respect for those people. And for the academics who spend all their time researching writing, with no one there to hound them but themselves.

I've been coming into school to work because its too lonely at home and I go a little mental when I don't talk to anyone all day. It's been great here in that I can get work done, but then i can go visit my friends and talk to them when i want to take a break. And have someone to eat my lunch with. And see people who aren't really in my normal group of friends who I normally wouldn't see. It's comforting to still feel a part of the business school where I am still safely outside of the "real world" for a few more weeks. The real world is scaring me a bit lately.

It will all work out.

I find myself saying "I'm sure it will all work out" a lot lately. Mostly in response to people asking me what I'm doing for a job upon my graduation, and how I'm going to survive living in one of the most expensive cities in the world, London, as of September. Blind faith? Optimism? Stupidity? Well, more than anything, I've come to realize that if you stress about something like this, something that relies a lot on luck and randomness, it makes life a lot more miserable. And that as long as you put some effort into your quest, and are realistic about potential outcomes, things will work out eventually. Having flexible end-goals is also advisable.

In our negotiation class this year, we learned that you should always approach a potential negotiation situation with a BATNA. A BATNA is a "Best Alternative To Negotiated Agreement", which in laymen terms is basically your contingency plan if nothing else works out.

My BATNA is to use contacts I have in the short-term contract not-for-profit sector. But I'm not thinking about that too much just yet. I'll stick with the blind faith for now.

Can I do it?

Well then. It's been a while. I'm going to try this blogging thing again. I have been easing myself back into it via TWITTER (see the mini-updates above), but am not sure how great I'll be at full blog posts. We'll see. Fingers crossed.

An update:

1) Done the classroom component of my MBA at Cambridge. Now just working on my final project, a research project for a major bank here in the UK. It's quite an interesting one, if only I had the willpower to focus on it for more than a few hours at a time.
2) Living in Cambridge for the summer, subletting a place. Much Much Much better than residence with tiny bedroom and not much else except a shared kitchen with a bunch of messy people, a couple really nice people, and one deranged Austrian who accuses everyone of stealing his food.
3) Living with Tim. So far so good.
4) Looking for jobs. Back in May I had an offer but in the end turned it down because it was a sector that bored me to death and the company had a terrible reputation for work culture. Let's hope that's not something I live to regret!!!

One post down. I'm not promising anything... but I'll try to update.