Heart of Gold

Yesterday I was lucky enough to get tickets (thanks Christian) to see 2 documentaries at Hot Docs - one was From Dust about Sri Lankans trying to recover and rebuild their lives after the tsunami and all the obstacles they faced - particularly from the money-hungry government who used the tragedy to kick out residents from the prime real estate along the ocean shore and sell it to resorts. So the people were left homeless - promised to be relocated but most were left with nothing. All this after so many of them had lost friends and family and their livelihoods to the tsunami. It was so frustrating to watch. It was the same sense of frustration I felt when talking to people in Kenya, knowing there was good people who were dealt a bad hand by the government - the ones who are supposed to be there to help you. And you are stuck unable to do anything to change it.

The second film was called Uganda Rising - it was about the Lord's Resistance Army in the north of the country and the terrible things that have happened in the past 25 years they have been around. It was incredibly graphic. Close ups of dead bodies still sizzling after being burnt. Heads cracked open with the brain spilling out. Limbs and heads hacked off. Disturbing close-ups of a survivor who had had her ears and lips cut off and her throat slashed. It was hard to watch but I think necessary to include such footage to show people the extent of how terrible it is. You can't tone down something like this - that would just act to dishonour the people whose lives have been destroyed because of this.

I felt so happy to be at that second screening and to hear the director and producers talk. I asked a question and they knew what I was talking about and I felt like I was around like-minded people somehow.

Sometimes when I try to explain things to people here about my experiences they don't understand what I am saying and make a different assumption about what I am saying. And there is no way for me to explain it in a way that they would understand. And that is really frustrating. There are so many things I want to talk to people about but it is like I am not speaking the right language. I don't even know how to explain it right now.

Tonight I saw the film Neil Young - Heart of Gold. I love Neil Young. His voice is so comforting somehow.