Let all the children boogie

I went to see Babel tonight. It was good but I didn't love it. The acting was great but it left me with a weird taste in my mouth. It was very bleak. But I didn't feel sad, just helpless, watching said bleak events occur. But I guess it did effect my mood. Suddenly, it seems like everything and everyone around me is bleak. Everything has a sadness attached to it.

Despite this, I like it when movies temporarily change the way I feel and view the world. It can be like a drug you take... eventually it wears off and you are back to normal, but for a while you see everything around you and the potential violence that could occur, the beauty that exists, or the loneliness. It also makes music more poignant. Maybe it is just me.

It has been tough for me to write anything lately. When i get stressed I shut everyone out more than usual. I need to figure out how to stop doing that. It is frustrating because I am a person who likes to be in control of things, and it makes me so mad when I cannot control myself and how I act.

Today I did laundry and there was a girl there who had really bad body odour and a guy caught me lip-syncing along to my iPod. At the grocery store, I went to buy red grapes and when the cashier rang them in they came to $11 so I didn't buy them. I also found a pair of cute grey running shoes at Zara on sale for $22.99. 10 years ago I was in my last year of high school. I found out that a girl from my high school class died of cancer in December. Another girl I have known since grade 6 is dying of lymphatic cancer. What does anyone do differently than anyone else to have that happen to them?