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Tuesday, June 26, 2007

Rationalization

It is something like 30 degrees Celsius here, with humidity the temp is closer to 38 (according to weather network). Hot. Sticky. Yet, Tuesday night ultimate Frisbee nights, tonight being the playoffs, we are still out there, ready to go. Somehow trying to make things seem better by saying "wow, it's much cooler than last week" or, "hey, there's even a little bit of a breeze". Despite the fact that we are already drenched in our own sweat before we even begin playing. Somehow you really don't notice that much. Once you are drenched, you are drenched! It certainly isn't something to talk to your teammates about.

I love the team sports though. How much fun is it to be able to yell and cheer and not feel like an idiot? You instantly have a smile on your face. High-fives are a great self-esteem builder. I honestly love it. Even though I'm not great, it is just so addictive. Plus we have a great team, so that helps too. Nice that at least 4 or 5 of us go for drinks after the game each week - tonight it was the whole team. So fun.

I'm MELTing!

Yeh, so the hot is here again. But my house is actually not bad (considering we have no air conditioning and I live on the top floor of an old house). I have been trying all the flavours of a local sorbet company. About a pint a week. This week is strawberry. Last was mango and the week before lemon. very very good stuff.

Yesterday I had the best streetcar driver. Leaving the east end at about 11pm, i was running towards the stop (in my flipflops) when I gave up, realizing the streetcar was too fast and I was too slow. So the streetcar stopped for me! and the guy let me in. So nice. He was one of those uber friendly types who was having a conversation with about 5 of the people sitting around the front of the car and I joined in. Nice public transit experiences are always a treat.

Feeling stressed about how quickly time is going and how soon I'll be on the road again. It's everything... the stress about all i have to do to prepare, plus all the things I will be facing upon my arrival. When I think rationally, I know that everything will be fine. But the problem is that I often am unable to think rationally. I start to panic... thinking of all the major life decisions I have in front of me. Thinking... aghh! Will I ever be able to relax!?

Someone asked me to be a mentor for an internationally trained professionals mentorship
program. Darn, I really would like to do that... but I had to explain that I am leaving. I think I will give my notice in a couple weeks. Really, my last day of work will probably be August 10th. That is so soon. (enter knots in stomach) Is it weird that I am more stressed than excited?

Tuesday, June 12, 2007

I don't wanna be a witness!

(Cindy Lauper song reference, by the way)

So you know when you take those tests to see how observant you are... and you have to view a scene and then it goes away and you are asked like 20 questions about the scene? Well, I always do very very poorly at those things. I remember stupid details but over and above forget half of what is going on in the photo. I am not a detail-oriented person.

So we won our ultimate Frisbee game and were in 2 cars on our way to a restaurant for beers & snacks. Boys in one car and three of us girls in another. Driving through a moderately sketchy area and suddenly we notice this guy running down the sidewalk with a car chasing him down - on the sidewalk too! The guy frantically cuts across the 6 lanes of traffic (nearly getting hit by a truck) and keeps running with a very frightened look on his face. I think he was heading towards the nearby Red Lobster. Maybe he was craving some surf & turf? No, then there was this other guy who hopped out of that car and starts chasing him on foot, with one of his hands stuffed under his black hoodie. Hmmm. Strange that he would do that... no? We are in the car watching this all go down and K is the smart one and decides to call the police, just to alert them to the situation. Shortly after she reaches for her phone we hear a "POP" noise. So she talks to the police and answers some questions (apparently they are already aware of the situation and have some po-lice on the move to save the day) and K keeps asking us (driver & me) questions and we are terrible at answering. Terrible. And did we think to jot down a license plate #? NO. Ugh. Did we think to look and see what type of car it was? NO. Did we SEE a gun? NO.

So they direct us to some nearby coppers who take our statements and we are off on our merry way. The boys also saw most of the same thing (and even knew what type of car the dudes were driving - I guess that is one thing guys are really good at) but they went straight for the nachos and beer. I myself wouldn't have thought to call right away. Bad, I know. Good old K too more of a proactive role in preventing crime in our community. Good on ya K! I think I am just afraid to call 911 because it got drilled into my head as a kid that you get in a lot of trouble if you call 911 and there is no real emergency. So it would take some sort of crazy ass emergency to make me automatically think to call. I guess that nearly witnessing a hit is not a crazy ass emergency in my head? I'm not sure. Anyway, the only thing I could think of when giving my statement was that I wanted to warn the cops that I am terrible at such things. That I see red cars when they are really blue and what not. I hope they catch the dude. And I hope they don't call me to do one of those line-up things. Although that would be kind of cool I am just afraid I would pick the wrong dude.

Ok... things that fascinated me today:

I used to shake my eyeballs all the time as a kid to freak people out. It was my party trick until my vision started to get worse. I can still do it but it hurts too much. Link here.

Have you heard about the 5th type of taste bud... UMAMI? Mmmmm Savoury! Sounds good to me! Link.

This is just stupid. Guy suing dry cleaners for losing his pants. But he is suing them $52 million dollars! People like that should be thrown in jail for being such assholes. That just makes me sick. That guy has got to have the worst karma in the universe. Link.

Monday, June 11, 2007

Can't Get You Out of My Head

Bombing in Nairobi, Kenya. Got some images from the scene taken on someone's camera phone. A familiar place. The pictures were terrible... someone lying there with his clothes blown off and his skin burnt looking. People just standing around watching and some trying to carry him to a car. People taking photos with their cell phones. Then, in searching for more information on the incident, finding out about a recent slew of matatu driver beheadings. Funny, this is the first I've heard about it.

When I was in Africa, and reading the local papers, they would report these type of things. And similar types of things that were happening all over Africa. Not just western news (although there was a lot of that too). There were even stories about Asia. Stuff that I knew the western press didn't cover.

I understand why they don't publish the stories. Because these things happen in a world that people can't comprehend. And people don't want to read these stories because they are depressing. People are willing to read depressing stories if they have to do with something they understand, or because they are happening near by. But there has been a line drawn, between the west and the rest and it is like there are two classes of human beings. It is a lot easier to block out terrible things happening to Africans and Asians and even South Americans, than it is to block out bad things happening to Europeans and North Americans. Because we can relate to the western people. But it is hard to comprehend the non-west others and their lives. So we choose not to.

But I think the press should print these stories because it is important for people to know what is happening. Yes, it will make people uncomfortable and upset but I really think that they should be.

I've been reading celebrity gossip non-stop for the past few months. Just lightly browsing the international sections. Concentrating mostly on local news. My own backyard. Now I feel guilty. I don't know why I feel the duty to know what is going on. Even though reading this stuff and knowing upsets me so much. It's just important to me. I just wish more people were aware.

Sunday, June 10, 2007

Have I Given Up?

No. I haven't given up on the blog. But very nearly. I am just trying to continue, slowly, bit by bit, until I head to school where I will be able to see the need to blog again. Right now there is so much going on, but I feel weird blogging about it. Once I start the whole school thing it will turn into a "keeping in touch with people and sharing my experience" thing than this is.

Sorry.

Waitressing has actually been fun. I dread it when Saturday night comes around, and Sunday morning am in a terrible mood waking up early and walking over to the restaurant. But once I'm serving and talking to people, it is kind of fun. Exhausting, but nice to have that interaction with people and physical workout. It feels more like you are working when you are physically exhausted at the end of the day, rather than just mentally and emotionally, as it has been with other jobs I have. :)

I saw a great old cabaret show the other night. It was very cool. Ran into a girl I knew from the theatre I used to do in my hometown. She was one of the servers in the "tavern". I felt bad because I introduced her to Paul as "Sarah" and called her that later in the night to get her attention and she pulled me aside and said, "I'm not sure if you know this, but I changed my name a few years ago. It's Fava now." I felt a little bad, despite giggling internally. I did know that. She seemed genuinely upset. I remember that she changed her name to Fava (after the bean) because she felt she had experienced a significant growth. Hmm. Ok. I guess I can respect that. But Fava? Not my favourite bean. Garbanzo, now THAT would be a great name.

Friday, May 25, 2007

Things I started to write about and then stopped...

1) bird pooped on me a few days ago... is that considered good luck?

2) cat we care for pooped on our stairs a few days ago too. a cry for help?

3) ultimate frisbee = lots of running = good for body BUT ultimate frisbee also = going for beer after = bad for body. hmmm. i'm hoping it all evens out in the end.

4) golf tournament i attended because my company sponsored it. very very fun to play with golf carts all day. i also like the golfing. nice way to spend a day. i could definitely take up golfing one day...

5) i am going to a 'semi-formal' event on Friday and have been trying to figure out what to wear. i tried on a dress i bought last fall when I was about 5 or 10 pounds heavier. at that time it made me feel skinny, now i try it on and it seems to emphasize all the wrong things (read: hips). what the hell!?!?!

6) allergies are exhausting me lately. not letting me sleep well and I have been walking around in a daze. the anti-histamine that I usually take every allergy season seems to not be working this time around. Arhhgh!

7) I had goat today! met up with an Africa friend and went to great little Somali restaurant. all for $8 included goat, chapatis (YUM!), potatoes, a pitcher of watermelon koolaide, and a really delicious soup - spicy broth. So fun. Very fatty. I forgot how fatty goat is. But so delicious.

8) Where does the time go? It is June soon. Scaring me. I am really hoping it is the case that school stressing me out is just me preparing myself for the worst and that it will be better than I think... and that the reality isn't as bad or worse than I think!

9) I really need to start posting more... I am just never home!! Yet I don't want to just write about my day to day activities. Arhhghh.

10) Listening to the Smiths makes me so relaxed.

Wednesday, May 16, 2007

Meme rhymes with dream

I've been tagged! Read more about memes here.

Here are the rules:

1. List 7 random facts about yourself on your blog
2. Tag 7 more blogs , making sure to let them know.

Fact 1: When I was little I used to be afraid to go to sleep before my parents came home so I would keep the hall light on and listen to the radio (usually this station that would broadcast comedy shows) until they came home. And THEN I would fall asleep.

Fact 2: When I had my wisdom teeth taken out when I was 22 I remembered some guys from high school saying that you should tell the dentist that you can't feel the laughing gas so he will give you more. Well, I did that but eventually I started hallucinating and passed out from overdosing on laughing gas. After that they just put me on straight oxygen. The dentist's head came out of his mouth! It was CRAZY!

Fact 3: Favourite ice cream flavour - strawberry - but Oreo or chili chocolate are up there too.

Fact 4: I have always wanted a nickname but never had one. My friends mostly call me Kathryn and some call me Kat (as my family does). But in university I met a guy who nicknamed himself "Skippy" and I realized that it was a bit pathetic to force a nickname upon yourself so I'm stuck with Kat or Kathryn.

Fact 5: Some kids at school told me that if you go into a dark room and look into a mirror and say "bloody Mary" three times then Mary would appear to you. That would terrify me (most religious-related urban legends do) and to this day I still get creeped out when I am in a dark room with a mirror - I will avoid looking into it.

Fact 6: I think my two favourite words to say are banana and monkey. I'm not sure why, but I say them all the time. It has been like this for a couple of years. It's bananas.

Fact 7: I find looking out the window at night and watching the cars go by to be very soothing. Something about their headlights flashing by (particularly when it is rainy out) helps calm me down when I am upset or can't sleep.

I don't really know many bloggers. I will tag the Chateau Nice kids (Marzipan, Pat the Pun-gent, & Loretta the Champion! ) and if I can think of anyone else I will add them later! I got tagged from Lesterhead so check out here stuff!

Selective Rain

Yesterday it was so humid all day. After work I head downtown to grab some dinner before doing an evening presentation and the craziest thing happened. You could tell that it was going to rain. You could smell it in the air. I was walking down the street and could feel little spits of rain start to randomly hit me and the ground around me. As I was crossing one street I looked south down one block and saw complete chaos. It was a complete downpour with people running for cover, screeching and ducking into doorways. It made me stop and laugh out loud because it was only about 20 feet away from me but there was no rain on me. In fact, you could see a line on the road where the rain stopped. I wasn't the only one who noticed and a few of us just stood there, dumbfounded at the sight. It was actually a few minutes before the rain caught up to us too -but I've never seen anything quite like that before.

Gosh I've been so busy. My brain is going 2000 miles/minute. It is not just one thing, it is everything. I'm trying to adjust to having this second job plus my original job is keeping me on my toes (and on the road) a few days a week as well. I think I am also just stressed because I am going to visit my parents for the long weekend and I'm trying to prepare for it and feel rushed. I'm just tired. Usually I really like being busy. It keeps me happy. It really does. But then when there is just one little snag it throws the whole machine out of whack and suddenly I'm a mess. It will pass.

You know what I like? Ice cream. I think June should be all about ice cream consumption. I'm going to have to write that in my day planner.

Thursday, May 10, 2007

Things that make you go ughhh.....

I came home from a night of beer and pub trivia only to find my roommate trying to figure out how to get rid of some cat vomit on the downstairs hall mat. I automatically volunteered to help her, not realizing exactly what the vomit was made up of. It was regurgitated mouse. Chunks of it. In vomit. Ughh. So disgusting. We dragged the mat outside and tried to find the hose. Once we hooked it up she hid in the garage while I tried to hose it off, but there was no water pressure so the hose barely let out any water so I had to get really close to the mat and saw up close and personal what the cat has puked up. So, as I do, I started gagging. I tend to gag mostly at garbage. Rotting garbage. It make my roommates laugh hysterically. Usually I am OK with vomit. My brother vomited regularly as a child, as have friends who I have had to take care of or share rooms with. But vomit with chunks of mouse is a different story. Not exactly what I had in mind to wrap up the evening. Ugh. Gross.

Tuesday I played my first game of frisbee and my abs still kill. I love it! I didn't realize i was even using those muscles. I doubt that with all the socializing I do that I will ever develop a 6-pack, but it feels nice not to have to do sit ups or the plank to get an ab workout.

Ugh. I really can't get the image of that puke out of my head. That darn cat.

Wednesday, May 02, 2007

Twitchy

Sometimes I get so tired that I can't function anymore. Wow, what a revelation, huh! I'm so unique. No, but what I'm trying to say is that last night I went to see this preview of a documentary my friend is working on about Barrick Gold and the unbelievable human rights and environmental abuses behind its successes. Drilling glaciers and cyanide in drinking water, police brutality and government corruption. Anyway, we went to the later showing (introduced by the fabulous NO LOGO author Naomi Klein) and his film was followed by a similarly themed full-length doc regarding the situation of Barrick in Australia. The second doc was good but LONG and I got really really tired. Twitchy legs tired? You ever get that? When you are so tired you just want to lie down so your whole body gets fidgety and twitchy? Strange and VERY irritating phenomenon, particularly when you are in a place where you can't really get up and leave without seeming rather rude. By the time it was all over I was so exhausted I wanted to RUN out the door so that I could get home and into my bed as quickly as was humanly possible. I could hardly even talk. Luckily I was with people who were understanding enough to know that I get like that sometimes. :) I actually did run at one point. Exhausted yet I knew that by running I could be sleeping sooner so I decided to expend the energy for the greater cause. I can just imagine what I must have looked like. Times like that I just wish I was a little kid whose mom could just pick up and put me into the back of the car so that I could just drift off with no worries about getting home, missing streetcars, packing lunches all before being able to sleep. Sometimes being an adult is hard for the stupidest reasons.

I think I inadvertently insulted one of my roommates. I came home and she was making and eating soup. I went upstairs for about an hour. Downstairs again to boil some water and saw her at the stove cooking an omelette. "Didn't you already eat?" I blurted out. I thought it was funny. She looked hurt and said "That was mean! It's not like I'm fat or anything!". Oops. I apologized but I think it was too late. I really didn't think she would be insulted. #1 she is tall and super super skinny - my friend K thinks she is a dead ringer for Mila Jovovich (very true). So I didn't think she would get insulted about something like that. #2 she is German and usually seems not to take insult in anything people say. In fact, I have found her to be fairly insensitive at times herself. #3 I really didn't think before I spoke or mean anything by it. I guess that is my mistake. See what happens when you are overtired? Bad things all around. Sleep is the only solution.

I really like the new Feist album. FUN.

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