Dangerous Footwear

I brought my shoes in to get fixed today. The heels had worn right down on them and the nail stud was exposed. The woman at the cobbler saw this and started yelling at me.

"I hope you haven't been wearing these! This will give you a brain tumor. You should put your health before fashion! This is your life we are talking about! That is why American shoe makers are not allowed to use metal in their heels"

A brain tumor? I was not sure what to make of this. A combination of disbelief and irritation that she was yelling at me, and yet I was also wondering if it was true. My shoes were ridiculously cheap. Yet, how would some one's shoes give them a brain tumor?

Time for some research:

Nothing on Wikipedia, but on Google I found the Industrial Shoe Company who said:

HIGH VOLTAGE hazards - where the potential electrical difference between you and energized parts must be zero to prevent shock.
FOR PROTECTION - Wear conductive shoes. These must have rubber or cork heels, no exposed metal parts, and the floors must be conductive in order for the shoes to perform.

Hopefully I didn't walk on any high voltage areas while wearing those shoes. Otherwise I could be really screwed. Although that could explain why the lights flicker on and off every time I walk into a room.

I often worry about my brain. I think that sometimes I hold my breath in my sleep. And when I was a kid I had one of those small exercise trampolines that I would constantly jump on while watching tv. Sometimes my head would make this thudding noise as if my brain was shaking around in my skull. My parents said I was imagining it but I really heard it. And then there is the whole thing with aspartame. I drink a decent amount of diet coke. Who knows anyway. If the air and water pollution doesn't kill me then the hormones and pesticides in the food will. Why not wash it all down with a big drink and try not to think about it.

Damn, I just wanted my shoes fixed.