Kaberle, you let me down.

It's funny when you are a fan of a team. Particularly one that loses all the time. Ok, not all the time, just when it counts. And you go to see a game, and you are all excited, and you wear your jersey and you post your messenger name as "Kat - leafs game tonight!". But then you go, and they are down by 3-0 in the first period and it doesn't even phase you, because you have never seen them win the cup, you have never seen them come even very close, so you are used to being a fan through and through. And each of the 2 goals they score (despite the fact that they eventually lose 6-2) are really great goals and you love each player like they are family (except Belak) but the game ends and you sit there and think... is it all worth it? Is it worth the $50 for the ticket (despite the fact that the awesome usher Don moved us up to the front of the section because Matt asked nicely)? Is it worth the pain of watching the team you love lose time and time again? Is it worth the defending the Leafs to all the non-believers who mock the fans who cheer despite the pain of defeat?

I don't know. But I am going to 2 more games this season, plus an open practice, and I will be watching them on tv and hoping that they have more luck when I am absent from the stands. I would rather they lose all the games I watch live and win the rest than the other way around.

I think more than anything, the camaraderie you feel with the 1000's of other fans is what makes it worth it at all. The understanding. The frustration. The hope.

I am a cheese ball. But what else is new?

Tomorrow: more work travelling to Windsor. I might hit the casino. Win a million. Fly to Tahiti. I'll let you know how it works out.