Don't Let It Bring You Down

Today I got into a car accident. I was driving from one work event at a college, to another work event at a university. Half way there, I was singing Neil Young at the top of my lungs, enjoying the beautiful sunny weather, when stopped at a stop light someone rammed into the back of my car, causing a big crash and my body to be flung forward then back. The impact was such that the plastic hair clip that was holding my hair back, smashed when my head hit the headrest. But I was ok. The car was not. I am proud to say that I was quite cool and collected in the moments that followed. I put on my four-ways, got out of the car and checked out the damage. The man kept apologizing and saying that he can just give me money. He was an older man, with a strong accent. He looked so stressed. But unfortunately, I told him, my car was a rental, so I had to go through the regular steps. I called the police (they told me they were too busy unless there was an injury or leaking fluids), then I called the rental place, who told me to go to a "Collision Report Centre". Some tow-truck guys happened to be on the scene and told me where I needed to go and what I needed to do. I gave the sad old man my cell phone so that he could call his wife so that she could go to pick up their daughter. He was on his way to pick up his daughter at the university I was also on my way towards. This made me even more sad somehow. We went to the collision report place together and filed our report. It was clearly his fault. I had a cop named "Jimmy" help me out. He was nice.

I left and felt like apologizing, even though it was his fault. I just understand his pain. I made some stupid mistakes driving when I was 16. It just costs so much money, these mistakes. And cause so much stress. And he seemed like a nice old man. But I guess if he hadn't of rear-ended my car, he could have run over a dog or a kid or something, you know? Careless driving is careless driving. So why do I feel so guilty?

Smells Like Mud

SPRING!

I finally saw Michel Gondry's The Science of Sleep. It was so strange but great. The type of film perfect to watch on a Sunday afternoon because it isn't too deep or depressing and yet isn't a stupid, mindless slapstick comedy. It makes you think a little, and gets the imagination going. And Gael Garcia Bernal can play quirky characters without making them annoying. And the supporting cast was also hilarious. I particularly liked his perverted co-worker.

The theme of dream state & reality and the thin line that separates them was particularly timely given the strange, vivid and sometimes compelling dreams I have been having lately. The film was also a great mental escape from a work disaster that i found out about yesterday that put my mood in the toilet. I checked my emails on Sunday morning to discover that a big project that we had been working on for months had completely failed in a big way. Basically our servers couldn't handle the project and not only did the actual task not work, we had a public relations disaster on our hands in that we had hundreds of angry students and teachers (a key market I focus on) contacting us with venomous emails and phone calls. It felt like all the work that I had done all year to promote goodwill and interest in the company I work for, had instantaneously been reversed. I was obviously upset. But Pho with Paul and the crazy-assed movie made me feel better. And last night I dreamt that everyone in my office was dealing with the emergency situations in their pajamas. I was dressed appropriately though - in my work clothes worn ON TOP of my pajamas. So I went into work in a strangely good mood. And close to 100 apologetic emails and a tentative damage control plan later, I am not too worried about it. Then again, I still have to face a bunch of said students & teachers face to face in the upcoming weeks. Hopefully a lynch mob doesn't form. Not that I could blame them, but really, we all know that hurling stones at an innocent marketing coordinator doesn't solve anything.

My Good Attitude

I'm getting stressed about work again. The other day it was my review and my boss told me that I am doing well and that I have a great attitude. I nearly laughed, because lately I have been feeling so negative about my job and I was sure that my attitude was apparent. Apparently not.

I'm just getting stressed about things that are often completely out of my control. It's maddening. I have to keep reminding myself that a job is not something to get upset over.

It is probably not the work, it is probably just the fact that I have had to make some major life decisions lately and I'm still struggling through it. I keep asking myself, "what the hell are you doing!?!" When I sit down to think about things, I know that I am making the right decisions, but it is still this nagging flicker in the back of my mind. Particularly when I am tired, or worried about money, or my job, or friends or whatever. Which is now.

The good thing is that this usually happens. Any doubt or argument against what I am doing that anyone else could think of, I will most certainly think of as well. And I will have to convince my most difficult critic, myself, on why I am making the right decision. So by the time I actually have to face reality and my choices, I am full of conviction and can move forward confidently. I'm just not quite there yet.

Spring is here. It is good.

My Own Private Avocado

Mmm. I love avocados.

This whole Facebook thing is really becoming addictive. I don't even WANT to like it, but I do. It is such a great time waster. I swear, I joined initially to do some research for work. But then someone found me and added me as a friend. From there, it has just grown. People from elementary school, high school, my Denmark year, university, Kenya, Travel CUTS, friends of friends, the list goes on...

How much time do we waste on the internet? How many websites do I read that I really shouldn't bother? Celebrity gossip sites? The same news stories from three different papers?

I want to get a timer attached to my laptop so I can start limiting my internet time. Once I go back to school, maybe I will do that. How much time is enough? An hour a day? 30 minutes? Somehow I really doubt that I would be able to handle that.

How it all ends...

'What will your obituary say?' at QuizGalaxy.com

I don't think I have ever posted something like this before. But it was just too wonderful to know that after all this time, Charles still has feelings for me.

Quiz Show

St Patty's Day themed pub quiz. I got a bunch of the Samuel Beckett questions right. But missed a bunch of other ones. Particularly the music "name that tune" section. Although I didrecognize a clip from the song "I don't like Mondays" by The Boomtown Rats (who are apparently Irish) Did you know that in 2004, the country that drank more per capita than Ireland (for the first time in recorded history) was the Czech Republic? The first Irish James Bond? - Pierce Brosnan. What does the shamrock (the three leafed clover) traditionally represent to the Irish? - the HOLY TRINITY! Kathy Ireland? - NOT IRISH! That wasn't a question... we actually had to identify a photo of her.

I loves me some pub quiz.

My job is exhausting me lately. I'm mentally drained. It is not so much the work anymore, just that I am getting discouraged about a bunch of things. Although all the hours of overtime and travel and lugging things all over the city and province certainly doesn't do much for the spirit either. The 8 month marathon is nearly over. Like 2 weeks to go.

Can you believe that Kathy Ireland is not Irish?

Up North

Went to Sault Ste Marie & surrounding area to do some presentations, etc, etc. I got a cold and it sapped me of all energy and desire to write. Not only that, but nothing really happened. I went to a nice cottage where we jumped in the snow then the hot tub. Foos ball and saunas were also involved. I also managed to secure a big honking student line of credit. And I went cross country skiing.

So I guess a few things happened.

Does anything really ever happen in March anyway? Other than half of my friends having birthdays? You sit and you wait for the snow to melt. There are more kids around than usual because of March break. You get more soakers than you normally do. The days start to get longer. You are just SO sick and tired of winter and cannot WAIT for the first patio day. When you go to buy a sweater but stores are already selling tank tops.

Wow, I wrote this while waiting for people to show up for a presentation and then they never did. So I guess it is time for me give up, leave, and go to eat my lunch. It is depressing when no one shows up. I feel so rejected. Ok, not really. But what a waste of time! Is it the teachers not telling their classes about it, or the students not wanting to make the effort to show up? This is only the second time this has happened all year but it is still frustrating.

Snowed in

Work even closed 2 hours early. Unfortunately for me, I had too much work to do to leave early. By the time I left, the roads were filled with cars, barely inching along. I took the subway as far as I could (lugging a rolley suitcase filled with work brochures for an event tomorrow) before having to walk for 30 minutes from Bloor to my house because there were no buses or cabs in sight. I hate rolley suitcases in the snow. Soaked and freezing by the time I got home, all I want now is tea and my feather duvet.

I like the snow though. And I like being that Northern Ontario girl who rolls her eyes at the fuss people in Toronto make over the snow. "This is NOTHING!" I yell at them. Although a minor snow storm wrecks far more havoc in a big city than it does in Sault Ste Marie. And when I was trudging through the snow with that damned brochure-filled suitcase dragging behind me, sunk in the snow, I cursed the weather too.

The countdown begins: 30 days until Spring!