Walking Wounded

Tonight was the second night in a row that my iPod chose the song "Mad World" by Sacre from Donnie Darko to come up as I am walking home and it always creeps me out. It is such a good song. Or maybe it is just the moment in the movie that it was playing that struck me in such a way that I just have carried that emotion over whenever I hear the song. Anyway, I like it even though as I walk I imagine a large piece of jumbo jet is going to fall from the sky and crush me.

I did some high school presentations today. 2 things: 1) All kids in high school are such messes and such nerds and so many look so lost and depressed that I just want to tell them all "Don't worry! It will get better!" I liked high school for the most part, but it would have helped to know that in the future things do change and that all the popular girls eventually become hairdressers (not that there is anything wrong with being a hairdresser but it is somehow comforting that they are not astronauts or something). 2) How the hell can any high school kid know what they want to be when they grow up when they are in high school? In fact, how do we ever even decide? It is such a random path that we take, it could all be effected by ONE teacher randomly telling you that you are good at something so that is what you should be come, or that you do poorly once in one subject because your teacher was crappy and you write off a whole slew of career possibilities in one fell swoop because you refuse to take math EVER again. It makes me nervous. Like those dreams I have where I am walking along a tightrope and tipping both ways, and the smallest thing will effect which way that I fall. Is there ever really a RIGHT decision? A BEST decision? I wish there was. I wish it was that simple. I wish we were all born to be one thing and it was written on the bottom of our left foot so that we might not have to stress so much about it. Although I guess that would kind of limit a lot of people. I'm just tired is all.

It is starting to get cold but it was a gorgeous crisp clear sunny day today. Ahhhh! Can I admit that I loved the weather despite the cold? And that the crispness even made the day even better? I must be on crack again.