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Wednesday, August 30, 2006

Slave to my stomach

My stomach is embarrassingly loud. As a child I used to like to think it was talking to me, but now as an adult, it draws a little too much attention for my liking. It will start growling, loudly, at almost exactly 9:30 every morning until I feed it something. This is after I have already eaten a fairly big bowl of oatmeal and fruit at breakfast at 7. Working in a quiet cubicle space, my co-workers can hear its rumbling demands for food. There is often no warning of its grumbles, nor is there anything I can do to smother the noise, until I get the chance to eat.

Later in the day, while it digests, it gurgles in glee - also extremely loudly. It really sounds like someone gurgling mouthwash except this takes place in my stomach.

An old boyfriend used to be able to pat my stomach and sometimes it would reply to him. I think they were in love. He and I didn't really work out. Maybe that's what this noise is all about. My stomach is mad at me from separating it from its true love.

I found out 2 things recently that made me wonder what planet I have been living on. The first one occurred when I was out for brunch and I saw 2 tubs of a name-brand liquid bleach near the kitchen and commented to my friends about it, saying that I saw 2 tubs of Javax. They laughed pretty hard and I sat, all confused. Apparently it's Javex, not Javax. You learn something new...

Then today I was writing an email to a colleague and got a spelling check mark for my use of the word "imput". You know, like when you imput data into the computer. WRONG! Input. Am I the only one who didn't know this? Or am I just sniffing glue in my sleep again?

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Input sounds like imput. And you were probably just getting Ajax and Javex confused; the soft "A" sound being at the end of one and not the other. Don't worry. My uncle works in a nuclear plant, and he calls it a nucular plant.

Sherri


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