Christmas Cheer

My boss let me leave work a half of an hour early. I left work, knowing that I would be out of the office for the next 11 days (!) and felt so free. Sitting on the subway & streetcar, listening to Christmas music, I was actually getting choked up. Especially when I think about all the people who feel worse this time of year, instead of better. I'm so lucky that I get excited for Christmas. I associate it with good things. And people who I still have around me. So I am trying to remember how lucky I am. Because I know how quickly everything can change. Anyway, so I'm happy.

I went to the Eaton Centre to take photos and wander around tonight. It is a lot more fun to go to a crazy busy mall when you don't actually have any shopping to do and you can just pay attention to what is going on around you.

The best part of the night was when I took the streetcar to the mall. I had the singing streetcar driver! I love him! He sings the stops. "Grrrrr-aaaace StreeeeeT!" He has this lovely baritone voice. I wish he was my streetcar driver everyday. There used to be a subway driver who would be all funny and weird when he was driving later at night. He used to say things like "And for those folks who were wondering, the answer to tonight's trivia question was Banana. Thanks to everyone for trying!" Or he would say "St Clair Station.... Just kidding, folks, we're really at Dundas West Station!" People would laugh. Smile at each other. Stuff that doesn't normally happen in a subway, you know?

Posterity

Ok, I read my post from yesterday and I feel stupid about it now.

I have been trying to be in a good Christmas mood and I see other people struggling with it too. People smiling more and pushing less. People making small talk with strangers about the unusually warm weather or the craziness of December.

Yesterday was my office holiday luncheon. So, I won this prize… it is “The O.C. – Season Three”. The thing is, I may have only seen the show once and don’t really like it. And I don’t know anyone else who would like it. So do you think if I went into HMV without a receipt (but it is still in the wrapping), that I could exchange it for something else? It just seems like such a waste.

Last night I had the pleasure of eating a lot of meat at a Korean barbeque place with M & J. They like to mock me. Last night I gave them plenty to mock with my confusion between the words “prosperity” and “posterity”. It turns out that when you say “Those photos were taken for prosperity” that it is wrong. But that’s what friends are for, right? To mock you when you make a mistake so that you will never do it again. And then they mock you some more, just for good measure

Sweating Stuff

Today I was reading Wikipedia to see who died recently (I was bored, ok?) and I found this somewhat ironic entry:

December 13, 2006. Richard Carlson, 45, American author (Don't Sweat the Small Stuff), heart attack.

I have been trying not to sweat the small stuff lately. But right now I am sweating the big stuff. I have some major decisions to make and it is stressing me out so much. Maybe I am just overtired and freaking out a lot about this today, but I am completely doubting myself right now. I am feeling that overwhelmed feeling where I am questioning my ability to do pretty much anything right.

The thing that always throws me off is that when I am making decisions, I can only seem to concentrate on what I might miss by making that decision, the "opportunity cost". And I have this stupid obsession that I have to take the more difficult and challenging route every time, even if it is not necessarily what is actually best for me. I care too much what other people think. Even when it has nothing to do with them. It is so stupid. I'm just freaking out.

Like, let's just say i got accepted into this school I applied to. But upon receiving the acceptance, I kind of feel like it was too easy to get in. And now i can only think about how I want to get into the harder school that I applied to, the one I am less likely to get in to. Despite the fact that the first one is really good and I wanted to go there and it might even be the better fit for me. The worst thing is, that I can clearly see this stupid psychology going on in my head. And yet there is nothing I can do, I still feel that way.

I drive myself insane sometimes.

Swiss Cheese with Pink Peppercorns

Montreal is such a great city. I have been there about 5 times now. And people have always told me how great it is, and yet I never saw it. But this time, somehow I was able to see it. Michele & I wandered around the city pretty much non stop for two days, just walking and shopping and sampling the food and beverages the city has to offer. I wish I spoke French because it seems like it would be a great place to live. I love the houses. I love the restaurants. And the boys are very cute. I think it also really helped that we went when we did. Right before Christmas, with all the decorations up, and people in great moods. And the weather was quite mild (above zero) and even sunny for most of the time we were there. I have the same fuzzy warm feelings towards Montreal now than I do towards New York when I had a similarly good experience right before Christmas two years ago. It has made me feel more Christmas-sy. Toronto is Christmas-sy too, but when I am here, I am busy doing work or house stuff or other stressful things and I don't take the time to appreciate the Christmas goodness here.

I also got a chance to visit with Lauren who I haven't seen since we left Kenya. First over fondue (cheese & meat & chocolate!) then she threw a huge party on Saturday night that honestly puts to shame any of the big parties we attended in Kenya as far as food / beverages / service / atmosphere goes. She has come a long way from our humble brunch parties!

Anyway, I am a bit all over the place. Only 4 more days until I head back to the Soo for Christmas. So much to do between then and now. I am a bit dazed thinking about it all. I can't wait to go home.

Mouldy cheese bread

So we have had a minor mouse problem for a month or two. We would find droppings, so we set traps, but nothing was caught. And then there wouldn't be any droppings for a while. So we hoped they went away, you know, because they saw the traps and got scared. If they were smart...

Yesterday I came home to see a mouse in the doorway of my roommates C's room. Then I saw one peeking out of my vent. This made me rather unhappy.

My room is fairly clean. I vacuum regularly and don't leave food in it. So when my roommate L came home, I told her about seeing the mouse in C's room and in my vent. C is away until after Christmas so we decided to make sure that she didn't leave any food in her room. Well, she did. Her room looked clean until I looked under the bed (where the vent that attaches to my vent is located) and found two grocery bags. One of them had a moulded cheese bun. Just sitting there. Not wrapped in anything. The other one had some garbage and a bunch of crushed up cookies. The bags weren't tied or anything, they were just lying on the floor.

AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!

Sorry, I am upset. So we got rid of the garbage under her bed and proceeded to find a dead mouse in one of the traps downstairs. And so we got rid of it and then cleaned the kitchen from top to bottom. And threw away a garbage bag full of old mouldy food (from cupboards and fridge) and expired food (some that had ceased to be fresh in 2003).

So there will have to be an intervention of sorts. I actually feel a lot better. Because I thought that it was both of them. And I didn't want to be the control freak roommate who scolded everyone to clean up after themselves. So I didn't. And I was just kind of grossed out and disappointed with both of them. Now, it is something L & I can talk to C about, and hopefully it can be fixed. Because these girls are really great and I don't want something that is preventable to be an issue.

And I'm going on holiday tomorrow. To Montreal. It feels like a big holiday even though it is only for 3 days. I am just looking forward to hopping on the train and staying in a hotel and shopping and eating out and drinking HUGE cans of beer in our hotel room. :) And Michele is coming! FUN! And I can see Lauren! FUN.

So for L's sake, we aren't going to set the traps again until I come back... so she won't have to face cute but gross dead rodents on her own.

Update: Michele called me, just home from an office holiday party, to tell me that she hasn't had a chance to pack yet. She hiccuped a lot. She said that she had underwear and pajamas packed, but nothing dynamic. She almost won a contest at the party. But she didn't. It was the best party she has ever been to in her life. I think I better call her in the morning to make sure she gets up in time for the train. Too funny.

Humbug

I went to see A Christmas Carol tonight. And sitting there listening to Scrooge, it reminded me of a comment I read in the Globe & Mail today, in response to an article about Stephen Lewis, the UN's special envoy for HIV/AIDS, saying in a speech that large corporations should be more active donating money/resources in the fight against HIV/AIDS. See the similarities between the two? The only sad thing is, the second one is a fictional character, the first one is a real person. Bah Humbug.

roger price from Andorra writes: This is an African problem, they caused it they can suffer or cure it. I for one, have no interest of investing in a company just to have the profits go to some cause in Africa. Income from my investments is to cover my living costs and the huge taxes that the government of Canada takes to funds healthcare here at home. Why should we underfund our own problems to help finance those unwilling or incapable of helping themselves? What does Lewise want, that we should give ALL our resources to Africa, bet he accepts his huge salary and benefits, what would he do if his income went to an African hole in the ground?

Charles Dickens writes: "I wish to be left alone," said Scrooge. "Since you ask me what I wish, gentlemen, that is my answer. I don't make merry myself at Christmas and I can't afford to make idle people merry. I help to support the establishments I have mentioned -- they cost enough; and those who are badly off must go there."

"Many can't go there; and many would rather die."

"If they would rather die," said Scrooge, "they had better do it, and decrease the surplus population."

Accounting for Dummies

Wow, I just had my accounting exam and it was hard. That sucks. Not fun. Girl running out of classroom in tears, everyone staying the full allotted time, my head still spinning (or is that the recovery wine)? The girl who ran out... she was there when I left (about 2 minutes before it was due) on the phone crying about how she just wasted the last 3 months and how she doesn't want to take the class again.

Wow. School stresses people out. Myself included. And with thoughts towards going back next year, I am wondering how I would deal being a full-time student again. Part of it is so appealing because it is just more exciting and there just seem to be more possibilities on the horizon when you are in school. The major downfalls are 1) group work (when you are stuck with a shitty group) and 2) never being DONE until you are DONE. By this I mean the homework and extra readings that could very potentially take up each and every waking hour of your 'free time'. Where as at least at work, you do your work sometimes overtime or weekends, but once you go home you can relax.

Unless you are a masochist and take an accounting class. I am so glad it is DONE!

Photos of mask in my room that in my delerium after studying too much yesterday, I started to worry that it was possessed and would kill me in my sleep. Today he seems friendly though, so I am not as worried.

Such Great Heights

Last night I dreamt that I was standing on a miles high skyscraper to enjoy the view. I couldn't remember how I got up there and I was talking on a cell phone to my friend (miles below me) who told me that the only way down was to jump over to the next building (about 1/2 mile away and a good 1/2 mile below) and use a jet pack strapped to my back that might not work. You could only tell if it worked by jumping off the building.

It was a bit of a scary dream. But I was trying to stay calm. I have this fear of heights and often have dreams where I am falling pretty much forever. Most of my dreams consists of the time and emotions that I face as I fall to my impending death. I often wonder if I will die instantly or not. And if it will hurt. So that was strange. It was a sunny, clear day in the dream and a very nice view aside from the dizzying look downward.

Today I used some of my many overtime hours to take the day off work and did some sleeping in and catching up on things. Harassed my friends who are at work and wore my pajamas layered with fleece and a toque because it is COLD in my apartment. Even with my space heater blasting away it is too chilly for my liking.

How many months does winter last again?

Turtlenecks

I like wearing turtlenecks because it is fun to unfold the neck part and put it over my face and pretend I am a ninja.

I downloaded like 25 songs from iTunes tonight. So exciting! AND I made plans for New Years! Yippee. But really, I think it will be fun. We are going to the Horseshoe Tavern to see The Sadies play. I usually HATE New Years. Because of all the terrible expectations that it has to be "the best party night of the year". And I usually never have very good plans. Or a date. Not that I have a date for New Years this year. But I have plans. And that, my friends, is half the battle.

I like how December is basically this whole month, ONE TWELFTH of the YEAR, that is set aside for this whole "let's be jolly and give gifts and throw parties". Part of me thinks it is a bit excessive, the other part of me just wants some eggnog with extra rum, please.

One Tequila Shot

Uhhh. I swear, I am turning into an old lady. I hardly drink anything and I keep getting these terrible hangovers and headaches the next day. Last weekend it was 3 glasses of wine and my head was splitting the next day. Last night was a little more wine and one shot of tequila and my mind was MUSH today. Ugh. And I even drank a ton of water when I got home. I don't get it.

Anyway, it was a fairly tame weekend otherwise. But fun. I went to the Dufferin Mall, which is a completely ghetto mall (even though they have an H&M) and on my way home I snapped these photos. See, the Duff has this gorgeous park just beside it. And the sun was setting but the mall blocked out the light so the bottom of the trees stayed dark. It was the coolest thing to see. Great timing on my part.

Today, despite the headache, I happily went to the Toronto Maple Leafs Skills Competition. I had 3rd row seats. It was awesome. I love hockey. I went by myself but I had so much fun.

Having dinner with K last night she reminded me of something I used to say all the time which I think is really funny. I used to say that boys who were hot were "solid". I remember reading an old journal of mine and I actually used the word "gnarly" quite often. I was so rad back in the day.