Sweating Stuff

Today I was reading Wikipedia to see who died recently (I was bored, ok?) and I found this somewhat ironic entry:

December 13, 2006. Richard Carlson, 45, American author (Don't Sweat the Small Stuff), heart attack.

I have been trying not to sweat the small stuff lately. But right now I am sweating the big stuff. I have some major decisions to make and it is stressing me out so much. Maybe I am just overtired and freaking out a lot about this today, but I am completely doubting myself right now. I am feeling that overwhelmed feeling where I am questioning my ability to do pretty much anything right.

The thing that always throws me off is that when I am making decisions, I can only seem to concentrate on what I might miss by making that decision, the "opportunity cost". And I have this stupid obsession that I have to take the more difficult and challenging route every time, even if it is not necessarily what is actually best for me. I care too much what other people think. Even when it has nothing to do with them. It is so stupid. I'm just freaking out.

Like, let's just say i got accepted into this school I applied to. But upon receiving the acceptance, I kind of feel like it was too easy to get in. And now i can only think about how I want to get into the harder school that I applied to, the one I am less likely to get in to. Despite the fact that the first one is really good and I wanted to go there and it might even be the better fit for me. The worst thing is, that I can clearly see this stupid psychology going on in my head. And yet there is nothing I can do, I still feel that way.

I drive myself insane sometimes.