This makes me laugh hard...

Laugh or Cry?
Originally uploaded by suggsy.

And also makes me a little terrified to ever have kids.

I wonder if paint remover works on tvs?

Not much going on here. A lot of sitting at my desk, trying to do ridiculous math problems. You know what makes me LIVID and absolutely SPEW FIRE? PROBABILITY PROBLEMS!!!

I hate that stuff.

I am going to watch mindless tv and movies for DAYS after I do this silly exam. Either that or just go sleep in the sun. Whatever involves less thinking.

Shiny Scary People

Terrible sleep after terrible dreams. I was in charge of protecting a bunch of Mongolian nursery school kids who were stuck in mainland China. The kids were being pursued by all kinds of evil people. We were in a castle and I put them in a safe place and then I had to escape. So I magically turned into a bear and started running (slowly though - it was like running in water) finding a way out of the castle which was surrounded by tall electric fences, dodging though people while I was being chased by and shot at by these shiny warriors (they actually glowed like the people in this) who shot shiny (glowing) arrows at me that were like boomerangs so that if they missed me on the way towards me they would seek me down on their way back too. It was all very anime-styled. But scary and stressful.

I think I do this thing where when I am having a nightmare I hold my breath. Because often I will wake up from them and be gasping for air and feel incredibly light headed. I don't think it's a very good thing.

The Heat

Wow it is hot here. So today after doing my usual daily routine and meeting up with a friend to show him around my hood (in the 40degree heat), I met up with A for dinner. A couple drinks and some mahi mahi later we head into the mall to do some shopping for me. I think the heat plus the drinks plus the excitement of feeling like I was allowed to shop (finally) got to me. So I spent WAAAYYYY too much money on a suit. While intoxicated. And the sales clerk reminded me about 3 times that it was FINAL SALE because it was on sale and about $150 off the original price.

As I took the subway home I sobered up and started to panic. Did I make a mistake? A very expensive mistake? NEVER SHOP WHEN DRUNK!

Luckily I got home and tried it on and I still love it. I need a couple of suits for this job so it was warranted that I buy it (particularly because it was on sale). But I know my thrifty friends will still make fun of me... (MARIZA). And it could have been such a disaster. I don't know what got into me.

GOD I missed shopping!!!

High Heels

I have a job.

What a relief. The interview today went well and she basically told me then that I had it. She called later in the day with the actual offer. I met most of the people I will be working with and they seem really nice. The benefits are REALLY REALLY extensive and good and fully covered. I get lots of holiday time (very important to a girl who likes to travel). It is a flexible schedule in that as long as I work 7 hours in a day it doesn't matter when I start/stop. They give me $50/month to go towards my public transportation fees. They pay for 1/2 my gym membership. They have BBQs on the roof of the office building once in a while. They seem to really have that whole mindset that employee satisfaction is extremely important. I like that. I also don't mind what I will be doing. It will involve some province-wide travel. Presentations. Seminars. Conferences. Sponsorships. All things I actually like dealing with. Right now it seems like a much less busy version of my old Travel job, with more money and cushier job perks (minus the free flights).

So I'm happy.

The best part is that it doesnt' start for 2 weeks. Which leaves me time to study and write the GMAT next Wednesday. And relax a bit. And buy some new shoes! And burn my resume. And delete the millions of job files on my computer. And cancel my interview at the Funeral Home. YEAH!

Fore!

I like golfing. It started out that I was just humoring my mom, turned into a way for me to spend time with my parents, and has since turned into something I actually enjoy. I'm not very good but I don't really care. It's fun.

My visit home has been rushed as usual. It feels like I have so much I want to do but not enough time to do it. There is just never enough time.

On a bright note, I have a ton of interviews next week. I have hope that I will be employed very soon. That makes me very happy. I am already making lists of things I will buy and potential places to take my first vacation. Fingers crossed. Otherwise I just may have to turn pro with the whole golf career.

Pick Me!

My interviews went well. I am happy to report my brain was functioning today and hence words came out of my mouth that made sense and sometimes may have even made me look intelligent.

One thing... What do you do when your interviewer is cross-eyed? I tried alternating which eye to look into but realized that neither one was looking directly at me.

Stupid Lesbians

On Saturday I woke up a little hung over but realized I had to haul myself out of bed because I was supposed to go pick up a bookshelf from a garage sale (I had reserved it in advance). It was a steamy hot day but the sale was only about a 20 minute walk so I figured I would head over, get the shelf (and anything else that looked interesting) and take a cab home. I got there, bought the bookshelf (a 2 foot wide, 1 foot deep, 4 foot high shelf). It wasn't too heavy so I decided to carry it to the closest major intersection where I could get a cab. I waved a few down. They did not even SLOW DOWN. In fact, I think most of them sped up.

So I picked up the bookshelf and hoisted it on my back, and hiked down to the next major street where there was a street car. It being a stupidly humid day, I was completely drenched in my own sweat within seconds. My t-shirt became translucent and my face glistened. I got on the streetcar for the 2 minute ride to my street and hopped off. I was happy to be in the home stretch. There is a salon at the corner of my street and there were these 2 dolled up princesses (who worked there) sitting outside smoking while I huffed by with my shelf. I saw them stare at me and then as I was just past them one of them said loudly to the other, "STUPID LESBIANS!!!"

What the fuck was that? It was about the funniest thing I have ever heard. Obviously a sweaty, bookshelf-carrying girl is a lesbian. And a stupid one at that. Duh.

Anyway, I just thought that was about the best "insult" I have ever received.

After I delivered the shelf I showered and then head up to Pat's cottage with Mariza and Shawn for the rest of the weekend. It was bliss. Swimming, scrabble, sun, and steak. Yes, I ate steak. It was so relaxing and fantastical. I will try and post photos later in the week. Big day tomorrow. 2 interviews and then in the evening I hop on the Greyhound for an 11-hour ride to visit my parents/friends/brother for a week. Party time. Excellent.

swimming

tonight i went to a blue jay game and then a concert at harbourfront for beers. such summery activities. during the day we went to a public swimming pool for sun & fun. it ended quickly when a kid pooped in the pool and we had to evacuate the area. I guess that is why people hate public pools.

Trapped

Ok. Slight dilemma. I have gone on a couple of dates lately. With a couple of different people. I have been making a concerted effort to date more and that is good for me because usually I am really lazy about it all. Tonight I had a second date with one guy who I was not that interested after the first date because although he seems great on paper (we have a lot in common, he is nice, lots to talk about), there was no spark. At all. So I thought, why not go on a second date, just in case. So we did. And it was the same. Nothing was there. Chatting but I found myself having a hard time concentrating this time. And trying to figure out a way to escape early. And then... he handed me something. A book. One that we had talked about on the first date. I tried to say no, I have too many other books that I am reading, but he insisted I borrow it. Don't get me wrong, this is a book I want to read. A great looking non-fiction about big corporations prospering after combining "sound management and social vision". But you know what this really means...

I have to see him again.

Prodigy

I watched that show Rockstar tonight. It was pretty entertaining but the most surprising thing of all was how annoying Dave Navarro was. I was also surprised to see that pretty much EVERY contestant wore black nail polish. I understand the whole "rockstar" look but can't anyone moved beyond the black nail polish?

Mariza put a video of me up on YouTube. It is during a rehearsal when I started to go a little crazy from wine and being in a stuffy basement for too long. Notice the lack of black nail polish. I'm an original.

A Little Bit Jessica Alba, A Little Bit David Arquette

Ok, I just found a really fun way to spend 10 or 15 minutes. It is this face recongation site that you upload a photo of yourself and then they scan your face and tell you what celebrities you look most like according to their "technology".

So, as you can tell from the title the celebrity I apparently look most like (a total crock as far as I can see) is Jessica Alba. Yeah, sure! Just call me Dark Angel. Number 2 (because they list men & women) was DAVID ARQUETTE! I nearly died. But we do have a strange resemblance. Other funny ones I look like are Hilary Swank, Andie McDowell and Jason Biggs. I know I will regret blogging this because I am sure my friends will tease the crap out of me about the Jason Biggs and David Arquette things. You laugh! Well let's see who YOU look like!

Good news is that I have a couple of interviews set up for this and next week. Hopefully something happens soon. Otherwise I might have to do body double work for David Arquette in the next Scream movie.

Viva Italia

It was a beautiful day Friday so Mariza, Loretta & Jessica and I went to Toronto Island to the beach. Hanlan's point is actually Toronto's only clothing optional beach. There were a slew of naked people. Mostly men who strut their stuff all day. Penises on parade. Too much. We were left alone for the most part (most guys there are cruising for other guys) but we did get asked to play frisbee by a guy in a purple thong.

There is a lot going on in the city right now. A bunch of festivals, the finals of the World Cup (congrats Italy) and the Molson Indy. I could hear the race cars from my window and it sounded like a swarm of bees all day.

This evening my band practiced. Did I ever tell you about the band I am in? Mariza, Jon, Dez & I started just making up songs and playing for fun at Mariza's place and then one time we rented out this studio equipt with drums, amps, mics, and soundproof walls (most importantly) and we rocked out for a few hours. Jon & I started writing some songs. We started practicing more. We came up with some alter egos and are working on a website. It is highly fun. I am the lead singer songwriter and occasionally dabble in keyboards. Mariza rocks out the cow bell and tambourine. Jon is drummer/dictator. Dez is lead guitar. We are pretty terrible but are still thinking about putting some of our videos on YouTube. I don't know if I could handle being famous though. I never know what to do when surrounded by screaming fans.

If you want to see a funny video go here and either watch the Shoes one or the Muffins one. It is very Kids in the Hall but still great.

Jetpack

I have been full-out stressed lately about everything from jobs to studying for the GMAT (I set my test date for Aug 2nd) to wondering if I am even doing the right thing in wanting to go to get my MBA. So last night I had a terrible sleep, tossing and turning. Woke up at 6:30 and decided to let myself sleep in - turned my alarm off. Went back to sleep and had the STRANGEST DREAM. I was in Mombasa, Kenya and diving under the water looking at coral and sea life when I realized I had to go back to Nairobi. So I put on a jet pack and flew over the water and the beaches and the people and knew I wouldn't see it again so I said goodbye to everything. It was so surreal - probably inspired by Google Earth because I've looked at Kenya before to see the places I was. Also coincidentally it was one year ago today that I left for Kenya. The day I left was the day of the London bombings and despite the fact that my flight flew through London, everything was on time and went smoothly. Strange how time flies.

Fever

The World Cup is a crazy time in Toronto. Particularly in my neighbourhood. I am in Little Italy, while bordering Little Portugal. The Brazilians tend to congregate in a couple of bars in Little Portugal as well, and then just everyone else representin' from around the world I think drive their cars with their music and their flags to my 'hood just because this seems to be an area where people are craziest about the cup. I have to say... I am cheering for France. My landlady and neighbours would kill me.

It is an exciting time though. Not only when the games are actually on. When they are on each and every bar and restaurant in the area has a big screen tv and the places are packed with screaming SCREAMING fans equip with air horns and anything that makes a racket. Once the games are over the cars come out with people hanging out the windows with their flags and music and even after one Brazil game there was a convertible cruising up and down College with 2 Brazilian ladies in like a showgirl costume - with thongs and feathered headpieces. They were waving Brazilian flags.

I heard of an interesting site that takes a look at the Cup from another perspective... How many people have DIED as result of the festivities!

Canada Day Weekend

Went to Ottawa, our nation's capital, to celebrate and also visit Karen. We went to a vegetarian pot-luck the first night that featured a lot of lawyers and marxists. An interesting mix. But many people who had been to Africa before so i was able to swap stories with them. And the food and endless bottles of wine was also a bonus. Canada Day in Ottawa is pretty nuts with lots of people everywhere. We hiked around and got as much freebies as was possible. It all started with Canadian Farmers Association who was handing out FREE! ice cream and tattoos that said "Farmers Feed Cities". They were protesting subsidized imports. I hope they win. I like people who give me free ice cream. We also got about 10 free packs of a new flavour of gum, a small smoothie, gift certificates for Greyhound, allergy medication, and a free drink from Starbucks (that one was from Karen!). Later we met up with Andrea, a friend of mine from highschool and head to her place over in Quebec (Hull) to have martinis, order pizza and then watch the fireworks from the rooftop patio of her condo. It was FUN.

Did I mention we also got our photos taken with Mounties?