Have you ever been to Africa?

I am in London, Ontario. It is terribly boring here. I did 2 presentations this morning and afterward head to my hotel where I slept for an hour, checked my work emails, then head to the local mall for something to do. There were no sidewalks for half of my walk. But it doesn't matter because everyone here drives. I realized that it will be very difficult for me to ever live in a smaller city like this where I can't walk or take public transit most places. That realization made me sad and happy at the same time.

On the way to do my presentations this morning, I took a cab. My cabbie was very friendly and asked me about my work. Suddenly he asked me, "Have you ever been to Africa?". I laughed and said "How could you tell?!!" I swear, it's like I wait for people to ask me that. He made my day! He was from Sudan originally so we chatted about Africa and Canada. It was strange but great. Seriously, how did he know?

Walking home from the mall, I was depressed. It was time for dinner and I really didn't want to go to a restaurant, although the idea of room service seemed just as gloomy. I am normally ok with eating alone in restaurants. I don't mind seeing movies or going places by myself. But for some reason, it being Halloween, it felt really sad that I was alone. Like how it is sad if you are alone on New Years or Valentine's Day. But for Halloween, it is like if you are alone, it means you have no friends. I know that isn't the case and that I am out of town for work and that I have lots of friends all over the world but I didn't want it to appear that I didn't have any friends to the stupid waiter who would be dressed up and looking at me funny as I go out to eat by myself on Halloween night.

So I went back to the hotel and ordered a completely amazing pizza. The best pizza ever. Seriously. It was delicious. And then I watched Donnie Darko. How have I never seen this film before? It was perfect for Halloween night and just so great. So good.

There was only one problem. Patrick Swayze. I know that I am supposed to respect him or something for being in such a great film (despite the fact that he plays this evil, smarmy character), but I really hate him. There is just something about him and his chin and his weird hair and eyes and the way he moves like a ballerina that creeps me out. He is the sole reason why I am one of the only females I know that doesn't like the movie Dirty Dancing. Just like how John Travolta and his similarly creepy chin, hair, eyes and dancey swagger have always made me hate the movie Grease. Am I the only one?

C'est L'Hallowe'en

Very festive weekend. I attended the annual Pumkinpalooza at Chateau Nice, in which about 15 teams competed in carving pumpkins while being stuffed with food and alcohol. I WON SCARIEST PUMPKIN! I was so happy. I have never won before! At least at pumpkin carving. I did an african mask pumpkin. Later that day I went to Michele's for a low-key Halloween party at her place. We ate, we drank, we danced, we did Exorcist trivia. It was very fun. We were the Golden Girls. I was Sophia, despite my height. But I couldn't find a good Dorothy costume so it had to be Sophia or no one.

Now, after ultimate frisbee this afternoon, we set mouse traps all evening and I scrubbed the kitchen. I am anxious about the horror that comes with finding the dead mice. I really don't like that part. I really wish I knew someone who could come over and do that part for me. That is one of the main reasons I don't really want to get my own place just yet. It's the fright of having to go through something like finding a dead mouse, all on your own. At least with roommates you may scream but you also laugh about it. It's like when I was in Kenya and found the cockroach and trapped it to release it outside. It was freaky. If roommates were there, it would be more of an adventure than a nightmare.

Why you do this to me Dimi?

The Exorcist is a great movie. One of my favourites. In grade 11 we watched it at Nick's house and laughed throughout the whole thing. If you listen to what Regan is saying, it is pretty funny... in a demonic way. Next came "Exorcist - the Musical". It is still a little rough around the edges, but one of these days, it will be complete.

So today my jaw is killing me and while bored at work I started to get paranoid about the pain. I couldn't remember if jaw pain was a symptom for malaria or not. So I googled 'lockjaw symptom' and found the symptoms for tetanus.

Sometimes "lockjaw" is the first symptom – the involuntary clenching of the jaw muscles. Others begin with headache and irritability, followed by muscle stiffness and then muscle spasms. The muscles are described as rigid as a board. A high fever is common.
Involuntary contractions of the facial muscles create an eerie smile. Contractions of the trunk muscles can bend a person over backward, so that only the back of the head and the heels touch the floor.
Seizures are common, as well as loss of bowel and bladder control. Sadly, the person remains fully conscious, and in extreme pain throughout the illness.

But reading this, doesn't this sound like it could be the symptoms for a possessed person? Like Regan, in the Exorcist? Without the levitating over the bed and the glowing red eyes? Or do I just have Halloween on the brain?

Michele is having a party tomorrow. Google ads beside my gmail always amuse me. For example, beside the email from Michele about the party, is an ad for JelloWrestling.com. Not just videos or photos (although there are both), but an actual business someone has started up, selling 50 lb bags of non-toxic jello, and instructional videos on how to put on your own jello wrestling party. I wonder if their company is profitable? I can't believe that Desmond didn't think of it first!

Silver linings...

Suddenly my stress has taken on more physical manifestations. My jaw being sore from clenching my jaw and grinding my teeth in my sleep. The twitch in my eye is back. Shoulders tense. Heartburn/acid reflux. Yes, I know... I'm dead sexy. And then, to top it all off... yesterday evening I was looking in the mirror when I found not one but two grey hairs. Most of you are rolling your eyes at this. But other than one strange stray grey that I found in Grade 13, I haven't found grey hair before. Ever. And now, in the midst of a stressful time for me, two decide to rear their ugly heads. But I know the stress won't last much longer. Things are looking better for me, sanity-wise, come December. So I'm hoping the hairs were a fluke and that I'll have to wait another 10 years to find a couple greys. Fingers crossed.

Ok. I am sorry if anyone reading this is an exercise instructor, or is dating one or something, but every instructor at the gym I go to is a bit loopy. And I love it. There was the incident in the summer with the high instructor who wanted a car. And today my instructor was this great peppy, older woman who kept smiling big and talking directly to ME, which at first I thought was just because I hadn't been in that class before and maybe she wanted to be friendly. But then it just got a bit creepy. And then, once class had gotten into it's full swing and she wasn't just looking at me anymore (probably because I started avoiding eye contact), and she was talking about the "new release" of the class (they change the classes every 3 months to keep things fresh) and this was "Body Pump 59". She said, "wow, for a second there I thought I was 59, but I am not, I'm 49... I turn 50 next month. But I might as well be 59, celibacy is the name of the game here, kids. That's what happens when you are over 40 and divorced. There are very few things that make this body rock any more." And then she gave this hoarse cackle.

This type of talk continued on throughout the class. No one really responded. We're talking dead silence. It must be strange being an instructor, expected to be all bubbly and chatty, and when no one responds to your chat it is like you are talking into a great abyss. I guess that sometimes some pretty unexpected things come out of your mouth. Things that either make no sense at all, or are just really bizarre things to be sharing. It kept me entertained anyway. Although I kept my giggles to myself for fear that she would start talking to me again. But these crazy instructors sure inspire me to attend their classes. Much more fun that tv.

Kaberle, you let me down.

It's funny when you are a fan of a team. Particularly one that loses all the time. Ok, not all the time, just when it counts. And you go to see a game, and you are all excited, and you wear your jersey and you post your messenger name as "Kat - leafs game tonight!". But then you go, and they are down by 3-0 in the first period and it doesn't even phase you, because you have never seen them win the cup, you have never seen them come even very close, so you are used to being a fan through and through. And each of the 2 goals they score (despite the fact that they eventually lose 6-2) are really great goals and you love each player like they are family (except Belak) but the game ends and you sit there and think... is it all worth it? Is it worth the $50 for the ticket (despite the fact that the awesome usher Don moved us up to the front of the section because Matt asked nicely)? Is it worth the pain of watching the team you love lose time and time again? Is it worth the defending the Leafs to all the non-believers who mock the fans who cheer despite the pain of defeat?

I don't know. But I am going to 2 more games this season, plus an open practice, and I will be watching them on tv and hoping that they have more luck when I am absent from the stands. I would rather they lose all the games I watch live and win the rest than the other way around.

I think more than anything, the camaraderie you feel with the 1000's of other fans is what makes it worth it at all. The understanding. The frustration. The hope.

I am a cheese ball. But what else is new?

Tomorrow: more work travelling to Windsor. I might hit the casino. Win a million. Fly to Tahiti. I'll let you know how it works out.

Dangerous Footwear

I brought my shoes in to get fixed today. The heels had worn right down on them and the nail stud was exposed. The woman at the cobbler saw this and started yelling at me.

"I hope you haven't been wearing these! This will give you a brain tumor. You should put your health before fashion! This is your life we are talking about! That is why American shoe makers are not allowed to use metal in their heels"

A brain tumor? I was not sure what to make of this. A combination of disbelief and irritation that she was yelling at me, and yet I was also wondering if it was true. My shoes were ridiculously cheap. Yet, how would some one's shoes give them a brain tumor?

Time for some research:

Nothing on Wikipedia, but on Google I found the Industrial Shoe Company who said:

HIGH VOLTAGE hazards - where the potential electrical difference between you and energized parts must be zero to prevent shock.
FOR PROTECTION - Wear conductive shoes. These must have rubber or cork heels, no exposed metal parts, and the floors must be conductive in order for the shoes to perform.

Hopefully I didn't walk on any high voltage areas while wearing those shoes. Otherwise I could be really screwed. Although that could explain why the lights flicker on and off every time I walk into a room.

I often worry about my brain. I think that sometimes I hold my breath in my sleep. And when I was a kid I had one of those small exercise trampolines that I would constantly jump on while watching tv. Sometimes my head would make this thudding noise as if my brain was shaking around in my skull. My parents said I was imagining it but I really heard it. And then there is the whole thing with aspartame. I drink a decent amount of diet coke. Who knows anyway. If the air and water pollution doesn't kill me then the hormones and pesticides in the food will. Why not wash it all down with a big drink and try not to think about it.

Damn, I just wanted my shoes fixed.

3:10

Three minutes and tens seconds of my life gone. Watching a cat on a treadmill. YouTube is the devil's spawn.

Looking at my transcripts, the only two classes that I did 'badly' in for university were "Existence, Freedom & Meaning" and "Personality". OUCH!

Cuba si?

Does anyone want to go to Cuba with me? For 6 or 7 days in December (Dec 15 - 21). It was my New Year's resolution to go and I will be able to take the time off and flights are about $675 (taxes inc) from Toronto to Havana or there is even all-inclusive prices for $795 taxes included and then we (or I) could just leave the resort to stay in Havana for a few days. That is where I really want to go but it wouldn't kill me to sit on a beach for a couple days either. I was going to do a mass email about it but then felt all awkward. I guess blogging it is not exactly socially couth either. And I don't want to necessarily spend 24/7 with the person(s) I go with so if you want to do your own thing too that is cool - I just thought I would put it out there.

Night and Day

Yesterday my roommates and I were discussing how we need a personal assistant. Not one each, we could share one. Lisa needs someone to help her with her homework and cooking, Corinna need someone to write her resume (and marry so she can stay in the country) and I need someone to do my laundry and tell me when to go to bed.

Because I have a major problem. Once it is like 10pm, I suddenly find 1000 things to occupy me, and regardless of my exhaustion, I dont' go to bed until after 1. All the time. Many nights I just sit at my computer going to the same webpages again and again, or I start googling people/things and it just never ends. Or suddenly I realize I HAVE to write in my blog.. because I have SO many important things to say. Then I go to bed after 1, knowing full well that I have to wake up the next morning at 6:30 and that I will be miserable in the morning, but somehow that isn't ever enough to make me actually go to sleep at a reasonable time. It is like I have this evil NIGHTTIME Kathryn who thrives on the pain and suffering that she puts MORNING Kathryn through. And let me tell you, it is not nice in the morning, after only 5 and a half hours sleep, when I have to pull myself out of bed and try and put myself together for work. I am CURSING at NIGHTTIME Kathryn, that evil bitch. Terrible.

I am thinking it stems from being the youngest kid. Growing up I always fought SO hard against my parents and babysitters when they tried to make me go to sleep. I never slept right away, I was always up listening to try and hear what I was missing, convinced that my parents and brother were PLAYING BOARD GAMES and having fun without me.

Bonkers

The company I work for has posted their new commercials on YouTube. Good idea. Although I have to say that I really think the ads are stupid. But that is just my opinion.

I took a creative advertising certificate program in conjunction with my university degree. Despite violently hating some of the teaching staff, it was pretty fun. How bad can assignments be when you get to do radio jingles and produce them, or do mock-up for television commercials and present them to the class? Well, as some of my former classmates can attest, it can be pure hell at times, but in retrospect, it was a little more interesting than if we had been doing ACCOUNTING all day long.

My first forays into advertising came in Grade 4 when requested to create an ad for a product I had created. My product was "Pimple Products" and I masterminded a rap which my current BFF Cara and I videoed, complete with gangsta rap dance moves. I still remember the entire thing:

Pimple Products are the one for you
If you don't want zits then grab yourself a tube
In spray and soap and medical pads
Use this stuff cause it's really rad

Then we ended with a little voicebox sound effects and the old arm cross, we're so tough, pose. (Even funnier to keep in mind is this was during my "afro-mullet / I wear jumpsuits" days). Perhaps my great ability to write compelling ads at such a young age can be explained by some of my early influences, namely my favourite ads when I was about that age, the BONKERS commercials. Fruit flying out of the sky and falling on people! Pure hilarity! Totally rad.

How to succeed in advertising indeed. Obviously, my natural abilities and eye for great ads gives me licence to be as critical as I want of other people's work.

Greetings?

Today I:

1) woke up in a foul mood
2) picked up 4 chocolate bars to give to my 2 roommates
3) told about 50 people to have a great day
4) had 2 diet cokes, a coffee, and a tea
5) think I did well on a test I didn't have time to study for
6) sent out a work email with the first line stating "GREETINGS!". I really have no idea if it was appropriate or not but nothing else seemed right. I am appalled at my new cheesy letter-writing style
7) am up late trying to catch up on work emails
8) did a crossword
9) don't have the time or the energy to write anything else

Legislating Sin

It snowed today. It was pretty, but cold because I wasn't wearing socks. I went to go see the Departed. It was really gory but really good. I liked it a lot.

Some days I really struggle with this blog. Not only what to write, but should I write at all. What is the point? Seems like a bit of a vanity project. And at times I read it and it is so irritating. It is like when you hear the sound of your voice played back to you.

Today a lady I met at an event I was attending had some strange coincidences happen to her. She met not one but two people who lived in houses she used to live in. And they were all visitors from different cities, here for this one event. Strange. People kept saying she should buy a lottery ticket. What the hell does that mean? Just because of strange coincidences means you are lucky? Maybe people figure the stars are aligned and so you should test your luck to see what happens next.

I have had my own coincidences. Last week on the plane to Thunder Bay I sat beside an older lady took out her laptop and watched Star Trek: Deep Space Nine the whole flight. We didn't speak until the landing gear was about to come down and then somehow we found out we both lived in Kenya and climbed Mount Kenya. She did it about 20 years ago. Then at the wedding I just went to there was a guy I knew, only through friends who I hadn't really spoken to since high school. We did the whole... "so, what have you been up to" bit, and craziness occurs yet again... turns out he was living in Nairobi 2 years ago, same type of job as me. Loved it as much as I did. He said it doesn't get any easier as time goes on, the missing it. And then today at the event, someone came up to talk to me and I could have sworn his accent was familiar. I wanted to ask if he was from Kenya but I thought it would be rude to assume that one of the few African guys in Sudbury was from Kenya. Turns out he was. And another girl he brought over. They live in Kimani, which is not far from Nairobi. We spoke some Kiswahili and exchanged emails.

Talking to them brought something back that I don't remember when I talk to westerners who had similar experiences to me. Talking to them I felt something I forgot about. It is the guilt. Like that I should do something for them. Because I have so much here, so easily. And they are so excited to be in Canada, but I know where they come from and what it is like there and that they are going to live the rest of their lives there, struggling, even if they get a good job, and it is upsetting. And it reminded me how I felt almost every day when I was in Kenya. I did have the best moments of my life there. Every day was really great, unbelievable. But that feeling was there too. And that kind of weird helplessness. That no matter what you do, it will never be enough. It won't change things.

And then I read in the economist today that Katherine Harris, a US republican senate candidate told a crowd of Baptists that "If you're not electing Christians, then in essence you are going to legislate sin." Where the hell do these people come from and who the hell is so stupid to want to vote for someone who spews that kind of crap!?? I just don't get it.

New Addiction

My obsession with maps and countries and cities continues. This game is addictive. A city and country name pop up and you have 10 seconds to click on a world map where you think the city is. Then you are marked depending on how fast it took you and how close you are to the city. After 10 cities you see your averages. I am good with getting the countries right but with huge countries like Russia that I know almost nothing about, it can really screw you up when your guess is over 10000km off! Stupid Russia!! Anyway, I am addicted but it is ok because I was just sitting in a hotel room in Sudbury doing nothing much anyway. For those of you NOT from Northern Ontario - try finding Sudbury on a world map!

Thanks, Peder for the link!

Classy/Sassy vs Trashy/Flashy

Wed/Thurs - flew out of town for work to do some presentations and attend an event. It is always fun at first when you arrive at a hotel and work is paying for it and you have the room all to yourself! Then it quickly gets boring and you get tired of watching tv alone and you get easily irritated by the fact that the wireless internet access keeps disconnecting. Although it is hard to stay in a bad mood when your evening of eating pizza in bed while yelling at the hockey game is paid for by work.

Friday - overnight bus home for Thanksgiving. Yes, I said bus. I stood in line, surrounded by university students and grandmas on a budget and wondered if I should step up and swallow the cost of plane or car and never set foot in a stinky, cramped, bumpy, slow Greyhound again. But it wasn't that bad. And am I really above the Greyhound? Is anyone? I bussed across Africa in worse vehicles and survived... and even LIKED it, dammit! So yes, I will take a bus again. If there are no other affordable options. :)

Oh yeah... then I went on a colourful fall walk with my parents and then bowling with friends and ate too much. Yes, I went bowling. I take Greyhound busses and go bowling. Is that the sound of you judging me?

Saturday - the wedding. Former roommate Roberta marries her once internet-date Adam. They seem like a great couple. Small wedding. Turned into battle-ground where my 'date' Brent and I compete with Dave and Tessa for best outfits. Brent and I assumed that the competition focused on who looked better. We were going for 'classy & sassy'. Dave and Tessa went for 'trashy & flashy' (their term) with 20s inspired wedding gear! Hilarious. And despite the fact that Tessa's dress came in a bag (it was a halloween costume), they looked great! Those two crack me up. They may have won the best overall outfit category, but Brent and I still proclaim victory in the classy/sassy category.

One thing that was terrible and made me angry was everyone complaining about everything about the wedding. Food, music, speeches, members of wedding, were all critiqued rather loudly by quite a few people. I'm a bit of a sucker for being nice and polite during weddings because I can't imagine being the bride or whoever planned the damned event only to have friends bitch about it. Needless to say, I am glad wedding season is over. Just in time for some detox before the Holiday Party season begins.

Baggage

I've been away for work and now back visiting my parents for Thanksgiving. Much to catch up on.

Today's Thanksgiving lunch/dinner (we usually have big festive meals in the afternoon to allow digestion and later leftover snackings to occur) was huge as usual. I ate way too much. To the point where I get angry at my mom for mentally pressuring me to eat all this food. So much more than I would ever normally consider putting in my body. This is silly of course. I have control over what I eat and should not blame other people for the sick feeling of fullness that I have had since lunch. Feeling full is such a terrible feeling. I get so weak and sleepy, but at the same time I am pained and find it taxing to move or even breath. I want to sleep but as I lie on my bed I see the sun shining in through the blinds with the beautiful red and yellow leaves in the trees, the last few warm days of the year upon me and I feel guilty for wasting such a day, unable to move because of my stupid over-eating. I think over indulgence in food is just as stupid as over indulgence in alcohol. It can really mess up with your day. And why we do this on holidays... when we should be using the precious time we have with our families, and yet in the end it usually results in each member of the family, passed out napping, each in a different corner of the house.

One thing I found funny was our major conversation at the meal was about suitcases. My parents were discussing/arguing about all the suitcases they have and when they got them and where they took them. It was fascinating to listen to each suitcases' personal history.

Here's a photo from a weekend walk we took. Many more to upload... stay tuned... Happy Thanksgiving!

Easy Target

I got invited by a co-worker to a special Kiehl's "Friends Special Event" where something like 4 or 5 of their special consumers got to each invite 10 friends each to an event for private shopping & consultations (with food & wine) and everyone got a $30 gift certificate (special consumers got $150). I hardly know the guy but we get along because he has that certain funny sense of humour that you get with stylish gay men and about 1/2 of my guy friends are just those things so I felt like I knew him and I felt comfortable making wise cracks with him from day one. Anyway, it was nice to be invited because I have never really socialized with work people.

So I head there after work with no food in my belly and was greeted with lots of wine and delicious food... crab cakes, prosciutto wrapped Parmesan, lamb burgers with tahziki... And we were pampered. Hand massages, hair consultations, and the staff doting on your every need and telling you just how much more beautiful you would be if only you bought their $35 hand creme. Yes. I went in thinking that I would just spend the $30 and that's it. I had quite a few things in my basket by the time I had been wooed by the hairdresser (your hair is soooo gorgeous!!), the skin girl (who swore she could not see the plethora of whiteheads spread across my forehead!!), the cute guy handing out the wine (and keeping my glass VERY full), the store manager who had WAY too puffy collagen lips that made me giggle because she reminded me of Jennifer Coolidge's character in Best in Show (who is my idol) - especially the way she would slowly emphasize the ingredients of each particular product, pursing her gigantic lips and squinting her eyes in concentration. "Lavender, papaya juice, panthenol, sage, chamomile, rosemary..." She was hilarious and I thanked GOD that Christina wasn't there because I wouldn't have been able to hold in my laughs.

So in the end I justified spending a whack of money by the fact that I got all that wine & food and pampering and ego-boosting for free. TOTALLY worth it. Then again, I still am buzzed on the wine. I'm not sure if I'll appreciate my purchases just so much tomorrow. I really thought I had will power. I am so easily wooed by the wine & dine. Shameful really.