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Thursday, August 31, 2006

Did I miss something?

On the subway today: Guy with mullet... ok, yes I understand that is coming back... and SALLY JESSIE RAPHAEL GLASSES - but white frames. Big white framed glasses. Not sunglasses. Glasses. And a mullet. And stylish clothes. What the hell? Was that EVER in style? Why is it now? I'm so confused.

Also on transit, there was a jerk sitting behind me on the streetcar complaining about women and talking on his phone and had no idea what time it was and guessed that it was 5:30, when it was actually 4:30 and made plans with someone to meet somewhere at 6 (not saying - meet you in 1/2 hour). Normally, I would turn around and correct him about what time it really was. But he was a jerk. Dude deserves to be an hour early.

Wednesday, August 30, 2006

Slave to my stomach

My stomach is embarrassingly loud. As a child I used to like to think it was talking to me, but now as an adult, it draws a little too much attention for my liking. It will start growling, loudly, at almost exactly 9:30 every morning until I feed it something. This is after I have already eaten a fairly big bowl of oatmeal and fruit at breakfast at 7. Working in a quiet cubicle space, my co-workers can hear its rumbling demands for food. There is often no warning of its grumbles, nor is there anything I can do to smother the noise, until I get the chance to eat.

Later in the day, while it digests, it gurgles in glee - also extremely loudly. It really sounds like someone gurgling mouthwash except this takes place in my stomach.

An old boyfriend used to be able to pat my stomach and sometimes it would reply to him. I think they were in love. He and I didn't really work out. Maybe that's what this noise is all about. My stomach is mad at me from separating it from its true love.

I found out 2 things recently that made me wonder what planet I have been living on. The first one occurred when I was out for brunch and I saw 2 tubs of a name-brand liquid bleach near the kitchen and commented to my friends about it, saying that I saw 2 tubs of Javax. They laughed pretty hard and I sat, all confused. Apparently it's Javex, not Javax. You learn something new...

Then today I was writing an email to a colleague and got a spelling check mark for my use of the word "imput". You know, like when you imput data into the computer. WRONG! Input. Am I the only one who didn't know this? Or am I just sniffing glue in my sleep again?

Tuesday, August 29, 2006

Only dogs can hear

Today on the streetcar home I was all mellow and enjoying the iPod. Then a child a few seats back started howling. Screeching actually. Starting at a low pitch and then getting higher. Then starting again. About 30 times in a row. The mommy didn't do anything. And while I am usually laid back about things like this and try and find the humor in watching other people go insane, I found myself unable to be unstressed because of this child's noise. I was finding that my shoulders and jaw were clenching unvoluntarily. I felt my hands stiffen into fists. The pitch of the whine of the child was the most disturbing pitch ever known to man kind. The mommy didn't do anything. I will probably be that kind of mommy if such things are ever to be. I am rather good at ignoring things. I'm not sure if that is a good or a bad thing. That being said, such children should be silenced. Muzzles. I am condoning muzzles for such children.

Wow. I'm tired. Don't drink with friends on a Tuesday night. That is my advice.

Monday, August 28, 2006

At the post office

Sometimes we are pretty stupid.

Today I went to the post office to mail something. I was listening to music while I waited in the fairly long line and when I got to the front I only took one of the ear pods out. I bought the stamp and the man handed it to me and I went to lick the stamp and put it on the envelope but it wasn't sticky. The man said something but I couldn't hear him because the music was too distracting. When I licked the stamp a second time, the man said VERY LOUDLY and CLEARLY this time - "It's a sticker, you don't need to lick it!". This time I heard him and so did everyone else waiting in line. No wonder it wasn't sticky the first time.

Sunday, August 27, 2006

It Burns

Chocolate chip cookies, flaming shots of German schnapps and the Emmys. That's my Sunday night.

I saw one of those million-legged, creepy crawlies in my kitchen and remembered something very traumatizing that happened when I went camping last weekend. I was proudly wearing my headlamp while we set up the tents as it was dark by the time we arrived and I think some bugs were attracted to the light. Suddenly, I heard and felt a mosquito enter my ear. Like IN my ear. In a panic, I stupidly took my finger to try and grab it out and only succeeded in shoving it further into my ear. Screaming by this point, I could feel the vibrations of the bug in my ear canal, muffled, but vibration throughout my entire head. The others came over, shone a light in my ear and told me THEY COULDN'T SEE ANYTHING!

- are you sure it is in your ear?
- YES!! AHGHH!!! I CAN FEEL IT BUZZING AND ARHAHHHGHH! I CAN HEAR IT AND FEEL IT AHRRHHGG! FLYING!!! AHH SHIT!! AHHGHDHH...

(I'm the one who said the second thing there)

M went to go get some tweezers and I stood there trying to shake it out of my head by banging the side of my head as if trying to get water out of my ears. Finally J said he saw it's head slowly crawling it's way out. I froze. Terrified. It then took a few more steps and flew away.

You know when you hear all those horror stories of when people get like a sack of spider's eggs laid in their forehead and they think its a zit until they hatch and blah blah blah. Well, you can imagine the horrific scenarios playing through my mind for the rest of the evening. Thank goodness for beer and night swimming to help me forget such things. The next morning I realized I shouldn't have been afraid anyway. Any of the bugs and viruses living in my body resulting from my time in Kenya would surely kill off whatever I may have caught or had been left from that wimpy Canadian mosquito. So I'm FINE.

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

Shiny Shoes

I am having a hard time writing lately. But I am really happy. It's because I feel like I am being organized and getting things done accomplishing things. Plus the weather is good and I have a nice tan and I like wearing high heels to work. It is just that nothing very exciting has happened lately.

A few things on my mind that are random and seemingly unrelated:

1) I still think Helsinki is spelled (and pronounced) Helinski.
2) I still don't know my right from my left - I have to look at my hand every time to see which one makes the L between the thumb and forefinger. Very embarrassing when attending yoga classes and I have to do it EVERY TIME. And I mean EVERY MOVE - I NEVER REMEMBER. Something is very wrong with my brain. I am very good with north, south, east, west, and have a naturally good sense of direction but the left/right thing sucks.
3) I am completely boy crazy lately. This could be dangerous.
4) Had dreams this weekend that I had no arms and went swimming but I was ok.
5) Reading the news fills me with such hopelessness. People just make me really sad when I see how full of hatred and anger and greed they are. Everyone from corrupt politicians to the every-man who writes a horrifyingly hateful comment regarding a local story. It's hard not to want to give up when you see and experience things like that and realize that there is just so much hatred and bad stuff, even right in your own back yard. But then once in a while something I read gives me the tiniest sliver of hope and it makes it all worth while. That's why I'm addicted to news.
6) Did I mention that my (somewhat pretend) band recorded some songs in a studio a few weekends ago and one of the songs had a recorder solo in it? MY recorder solo. I think my life is now complete!

Tuesday, August 22, 2006

Is Helsinki the new Tokyo?


Found this cool website that shows Helsinki fashion. Something to entertain me while I'm at work.

It's rather slow right now so I have been trying my best to act and look as busy as possible, but there is only so much a girl can do. Then today a shocking thing happened, they called everyone down to the boardroom for an emergency meeting and the Board of Directors told us they had some bad news. For a split second I feared for my job. I thought they were closing the office and we were all toast. Then they announced that the CEO and another senior director were being let go. WHOA. Not something I was expecting. Shakes you up a little when things like that happen. Some of the ladies in the office were crying after. Makes you realize that your job is never really secure. Shite.

Monday, August 21, 2006

Muffins

It is good to have days where all you do is catch up on all the little things, like doing laundry, buying groceries, paying bills, making muffins...

The world is acting strangely lately. Some of my friends are going through really tough times lately. And then a few good things happened to me today and I felt kind of guilty. But I guess if bad things happened to everyone at the same time then we wouldn't be able to rely on one another as much. (cue "that's what friends are for")

I don't give Toronto enough credit sometimes. People can be pretty nice when you least expect it. The girl at the optometrist gave me a bunch of free contacts while I am waiting for my refill just because I mentioned "I guess I will be wearing my glasses until the new ones come in". Either she was really nice or my glasses look really bad on me! :)

Sunday, August 20, 2006

Ouch

Man, I've been terrible at updating this week. All my tens of readers must just be so mad at me. But it has been quite busy. Having a guest over all week, plus I seemed to have had a pretty full social schedule while at the same time adapting to being a working woman again and waking up at 6:30am every morning has kind of knocked me on my ass.

This weekend I went camping with a bunch of people I didn't really know. It was so much fun. I got invited to go along by a friend of a friend and I knew about 4 people out of the 17 campers. But all the people involved were great fun and just super nice people. It was such a cool weekend, and very well organized! For meals we were divided up into teams and each group had to prepare all the food for one meal for the entire group. My group (team SMAK - an acronym of our names), kicked ass with our delicious preparation of chili (veggie & meat), garlic toast and topped the brilliance off with a group dance routine involving belly dancing and Napoleon Dynamite-like running. The weekend also included one day full of rain that lead to a construction of a mind-blowing tarp village, lots of swimming in the rain with multiple frisbees being thrown in all directions, and the marriage of two of best things ever: marshmallows and bacon. Mariza, you are a culinary genius. I am home now, exhausted, sore, smelling like smoke (even after a shower) and very happy I had such a great weekend.

The weekend was a nice distraction from something that has been plaguing my thoughts for a while now. I lost my Africa photos & videos. Well, most of them. About a month ago I bought an external hard drive because my laptop was getting full and very slow so I put a ton of my stuff (including all the Africa stuff) onto the hard drive. I know I should have backed it up on to a cd too, but I didn't have the time initially, or the money to buy all the cds that it would have taken. I know I was stupid. I know. So 2 days before I wrote my GMAT exam I was trying to see something on the external hard drive and it wouldn't let me access it. And it was saying the drive was corrupted. And my heart was starting to race and I wanted to cry so I turned it off and put it away and tried not to think about the potential consequences of my external hard drive being broken and I tried to concentrate on the GMAT studying. Once that was done I tried to get the drive fixed. That didn't work. Then I tried to get them to recover anything they could. They couldn't. Then I got my good friend Matt to try to "undelete" the photos that were on my computer (when you delete something from your computer they are still there, they are only erased for ever once you save something over them). So Matt was thankfully able to retrieve about 400 photos for me and some videos even. I am so happy about that but sad that I am such an idiot and lost so much that meant so much to me. It hurts to write about this because it makes me so sad and I feel I am such an idiot.

But the good news is that I have those 400 or so from Matt plus the photos already on flickr and I will email all my Kenya friends (and friends from my trip through Namibia/Botswana etc) who I gave photos to and hopefully will be able to retrieve more that way. So I might be able to get back about 1/3 of the photos (I originally had over 3000). Anyway, I know I sound like I am complaining about nothing but the photos and videos meant a lot to me (even the stupid ones that I would never have printed out or shown other people, just because they captured a small part of my time in Africa and every second of that time was so special to me that I feel by losing the photos, I may have lost a memory of a moment of that time and that just really kills me.

But if I learned anything from my time in Africa it is not to let things stress you out. If I look a this in perspective, it is not a big deal.
Hakuna shida (no problem). Life is still pretty good.

Sunday, August 13, 2006

Toronto - it's where I live

An American friend who I met in Kenya, is in town for the AIDS Conference that is taking place this week. She is staying with me for about 1/2 her time here. So, while I was waiting to pick Jill up at the airport, there was a booth welcoming the delegates of the conference and this man was standing beside me at the arrivals gate and suddenly noticed this booth, and FREAKED OUT and said, "what the hell?, WHAT THE HELL!!!?!" and moved away from the booth quickly. I guess he didn't want to catch AIDS which was sure to happen if he stood beside the booth. Sometimes I hate people.

So Jill had to go through some trouble in flying from Nairobi to Canada. First of all, at the Nairobi airport, she had to check in all her carry-on luggage and was only allowed to keep her passport and ticket and put them in a zip-lock baggie. Jill had tried to do something so nice and thoughtful for me. She had bought me Stoney Tangawezi, my favourite Kenyan Ginger Beer, and Safari Vodka, the BEST vodka in the world (because it is soooo cheap and tastes kind of like rubbing alcohol but Best because it reminds me of my time in Kenya). But unfortunately in the hub-ub of all the commotion at the airport, the Stoney and the Safari Vodka crashed and were destroyed. It was such a nice thought though.

So I took Jill out for some Mexican food (pretty much the ONE type of world cuisine that you can't find in Nairobi) at one of my favourite local hangouts, Sneaky Dees. It looks like a dive but it is really a hidden gem.

The only thing that worries me is that Jill thinks all Canadians wear beer boxes on their heads as hats because as we were sitting outside eating our dinner, a bunch of guys who were coming from the Beer Festival were stumbling around drunk with beer box hats. Despite my pleading with her, she seems to be clinging to the belief that those guys were typical Canadians. I swear, only HALF the guys in this country are like that.

Thursday, August 10, 2006

You are a runner...

Working makes a girl tired. Especially when she is waking up 2.5 hours earlier than she is used to. Yeah, I know... suck it up.

But the tough part was tonight at ultimate frisbee. Being tired after work and then running around a field for 2 hours is not very easy. Although I realized something. This may be difficult to explain... but when I have nightmares when I am running (and it seems like running through water because it is in slow motion), the only way for me to speed things up is if I start running BACKWARDS in my dream. Then I can run fast. So tonight playing ultimate, there was WAY too much running and the girl I was covering was literally running circles around me. I was slowing down. My lungs felt like they were bleeding. But then I tried running backwards... and suddenly it wasn't sapping me of so much energy and I could actually run fast some of the time! It was amazing. I don't really understand how that works, but it was good to figure out. Dreams can come true.

I am so excited for the weekend. I earned these two days off!

Wednesday, August 09, 2006

Power Genitalia

Ok, I know I have been posting a lot of links lately... but these things are damn funny, you have to admit. This link brings you to: The Top Ten Unintentionally Worst Company URLs I snorted I was laughing so hard the first time I read it. Seriously. Oh, and you won't understand the title of my post unless you click on the link. I guess putting titles like that is a good way to improve readership. I will get more hits from the pervy googlers.

Just imagine reading that sentence 10 years ago. I will get more hits from the pervy googlers. Funny how our vocabularies change. I think 10 years ago I would have thought that googlers would be some sort of googley-eyed trolls that lived in my backyard.

Saturday, August 05, 2006

Unicorns are Rad


Please read this blog. It will make you happy. And realize that unicorns are rad. And that there are a lot of people out there who are a hell of a lot stranger than you could ever be.

Thursday, August 03, 2006

PHILEMON A GREEK APOTHECARY

Life is good. My test went really really well and I am happy with the results. I am starting a new job in a few days and this weekend is looking to be a fun one. Big Exhale....

I keep getting these "insider trading tips" to one of my email accounts. They usually have a strange subject line (the one below was called "Day to Day Gravity"), a bunch of weird random text as a message and then a few attachments (which I never open but I can see because of gmail) which are tips about which stocks to invest in. I have been deleting them for weeks and finally one day I sat and read the content of one of the emails and it is the funniest stuff. I am trying to figure out the logic behind pasting random text into an email containing "stock tips".

Here's a little sample of what one of the emails said (this one is very biblical):

"Forget not that the Torah is our foundation and our tower of strength. PHILEMON A GREEK APOTHECARY THE NAZARENE WAS THE MASTER PHYSICIAN OF His people. And suddenly I was as if naked, and I was shy. And He said to us, My hour has not yet come. And me thought there was danger in the sockets of his eyes. And because they did not find rooms at the inn they sought shelter in our house. PERHAPS something about His person lent power to His words and swayed those who heard Him."

Tuesday, August 01, 2006

my brain is bleeding

#458 - Which of the following most closely describes the author's tone with respect to governmental intrusion into familial affairs?

ambiguous?

unequivocally condemnatory?
cautiously approbatory?

uncritically reproachful?

censorious?

after hours and hours of studying, coming across such a question just makes me blink blink blink at the computer screen, asking WHY GOD WHY? it makes more sense to me reading it now, but at the time I was just looking at the word approbatory and wondering how exactly one acting cautiously approbatory would act? does anyone really know? (without looking it up?)

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